The hands he “hugs” me with
Pound me hard into the floor.
The lips he “kisses” me with
Spit venom as he says “adore.”
The face he “smiles” with
Now boils red and explodes.
The feet he “drives” me with
Now steal my breath as I implode.
The heart he “loves” me with
Beats loud against my ear.
The arm he “prods” me with
Constricts my head so that I can’t hear
The nasty things he swears at me
-the iron cast ball of lies-
I sing within my death’s embrace
The song of his demise.
A contest entry
- Hatred burning in your heart?? by XHollowXEyesX.
1600 points, ended April 25, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Very Best #3 (pre-writes allowed) by Dark Whispers.
330 points, ended April 20, 2007, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Needing To Be Loved by shysky.
450 points, ended April 21, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Most beeeeeeeeutiful poems in the world by xXx-lizzy-xXx.
372 points, ended May 11, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me cringe. Tell me about PHYSICAL pain. by Angierie.
700 points, ended May 3, 2007, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - EMOTIONS - hit me with your best shot! by Heavens Child.
510 points, ended April 21, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abuse..pictures to choose from! by xXbroken lullabyXx.
500 points, ended April 29, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark and Depressing #2 by XHollowXEyesX.
750 points, ended June 18, 2007, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emo by Atrophya.
500 points, ended May 10, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Children Or Your Childhood by JeannieD Hunter.
450 points, ended May 23, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rape[&&Disgrace] by WishMeAway--x.
450 points, ended May 27, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Used.&.Abused ♥ by juliex-exotic shine.
375 points, ended June 3, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All options by Ignis Corpus.
450 points, ended July 19, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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wow thats a good poem kept my attion through out the poem i liked it, good job the flow was good. and good luck in the contes
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Very nicely written. I really like this. Thank you for entering!
[good.luck&take.care]
x.
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lol wow you really want this one to be heard look at all the contests!!! well i think you need better flow, not that was a bad poem or anything, it just needs work.
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so many visuals here...great job on this.
thanks for your story. -
Very well written. Such a tragic situation that happens way too much. Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest.
Jeannie
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Nicely done. Morbid but full of emo ness. Good luck in the contest.
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hmmm.I thought this write seemed familar. you entered it into my last contest. I still standby what I what in my last comment, and there is no way that being entered into my last contest with have an effect on my judgement.
Thanks for entering (again lol) and goodlcuk -
this was really good..i liked how you like contradicted what he does with how he acts later..but i think my fav lines were
the iron cast ball of lies-
I sing within my death’s embrace
The song of his demise.
but great write and good luck in the contest! -
wow, powerful. It's really disturbing with the inocent child like description of it with 'hug' and 'kisses'.
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I love the contrasts in this, it gives this a deep impact. Very vivid imagery. Great write. Thanks for the entry in my contest.
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Hm...Very deep and emotional. I hope that this is not personal, but if it is, I'm sorry to hear that. Great flow and rhyme. Good luck in the contest.
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Wow...
This is amazing.
So much emotion...
Thanks so much for the entry!
Angie -
Wow, this was deep and heartfelt and definetely heart wrenching for a reader who had a father who was in the same catagory as the on you spoke of.
Thank you for entering my contest
I loved the read
~A Heart's Hope Lies With Belladonna~ -
Such talent you have here..you are a great poet. this is such a sad poem. Ihope everything turns out well I really like the way you have written this piece and you are a great rhymer best of luck in this contest!
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this is a great poem and I like how you emphsized some words. nicely written poem. thanks for entering.
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You have written a very good description of someone caught in the cycle of abuse. He hurts me, but, I love him. I hate him, but, I love him. Good job. So sad, get away a soon as you can. Very emotional, as I felt the pain in this poem.
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wow this is an amazing write. I can feel the pure emotion running through through the words. I especially love the way you describe that one thing that can make you feel loved can also detroy you 'The hands he “hugs” me with
Pound me hard into the floor.
The lips he “kisses” me with
Spit venom as he says “adore.”
LOve the ending aswell, very powerful,
thanks for entering and goodluck -
this is a confusing poem but i think that is best, i mean as you read it you feel a lot of different things and i think that in some way that is what makes this poem so real, keep it flowing
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