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The Great Disappearing Act

Once standing under the bright, full moon
I tied myself to a balloon
And as I continue to disappear,
I become lighter as heaven draws near
This beautiful place, above me it waits
But I am so weak, I can't open it's gates
In the back of my mind, I've heard that it's known
That sometimes these gates open on their own
And if by chance, this is just a myth
I've brought my sharpened objects with
If the gates aren't opening anytime soon,
I'll pull out my blades and pop the balloon
Getting lighter, floating higher
They don't know that I'm a liar
Not broken, but cracked
I am barely in tact
Almost through with the great disappearing act
I'm up above the clouds with no fear
A thousand feet high in the atmosphere
Sometimes in clouds, my eyes blur from the haze
I keep the scissors in hand on those days
When I look at the ant-sized buildings, I know
That a dive from this hight is a long way to go
But no one will be put to blame for it all,
They'll just think I got lost in the impact and fall
I float high above all the chaos in town
I might go up, and I might fall down
For now, however, I'll stay in-between
With my dark, careful eye, just observing the scene
Getting lighter, floating higher
No one knows that I'm a liar
I'm just barely in tact
And don't know for a fact
If I'll finish the great disappearing act

Author notes

(Date written is unknown)... I realized I had forgotten to type this poem on this site. I wrote this a long while ago at one of the saddest times of my life. This may seem like a semi-innocent poem that isn't all that hardcore, but the metaphor of this is very depressing and somewhat scary.

I wrote this when I wanted to die. I realized that whenever someone commits suicide, people usually blame themselves for the other person's death. So I came up with what I thought was the perfect plan... I started to bullshit and eating disorder. EDs kill people, and no one else blames themself for it like they do with suicides.... It came to the point where I got so far into it that I couldn't get out... it was like an addiction... Then later, I was diagnosed with an ED...

This was me stuck in-between... I was getting kinda far into it to the point that if I'd lost 10 more pounds, I'd be dead. I was just waiting for something to come and save me... something good to happen so I could quit dying and have motivation to live.

That's pretty much what this poem is about... being in-between the option of death, or waiting for a savior.

(Epilouge to this event--- I'm not suicidal anymore. I'm on meds... Still depressed, but I realize now that depression is nothing but a disease I'm plagued with and I'm not a terrible person.)

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Cat10
    May 19

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    thank you for entering! this is a great poem! sorry it took so long to comment. you did a great job with this piece! good luck!

  • Rainy Days
    June 2, 2007

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    This is a deppressing poem, but it's very good. I loved these lines:
    No one knows that I'm a liar
    I'm just barely in tact
    And don't know for a fact
    If I'll finish the great disappearing act
    Such an awesome poem


  • Shadows-stars
    May 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this poem is very well written... the rhyming scheme is great and allows the poem flow well through most of the read.. a few awkward places here and there, but I think some lines are a little long for the rhythm... the wording is very clever and the imagery is good, some of the rhymes seem a little forced but you have pulled it off very well.. I really like these lines...
    "Getting lighter, floating higher
    They don't know that I'm a liar
    Not broken, but cracked
    I am barely in tact"
    well done!!
    thank you for entering my contest and good luck..
    peace and light always.

  • SomethingPoetic
    April 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    let me be honest here, i really feel like this poem woul be really good if you removed the forced rhyme, it really didnt work im sorry this just bored me all of the rhyme scheme was off it just bothered me with how you thought of words to rhyme with other words, if i were you i would try rhyming every other line or so it makes it sound more professional and together

  • Pollycheck silver member
    April 15, 2007

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    Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. This is a very depressing poem, but it is very well written. I am glad to hear that you are no longer suicidal. I wonder if writing this poem had anything to do with your therapy. As far as the poem goes, I did notice one typo.

    That a dive from this hight is a long way to go

    should be:

    That a dive from this height is a long way to go

  • Starz.Still.Shine
    April 13, 2007

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    this was an amazingly writen poem..your words were very powerful, strong and emotional as well and this was an amazing write..full of raw talented..kep writting and good luck in the contest

    xXTashaXx

  • La Tua Cantante
    April 12, 2007

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    This is an amazing poem. It is written very well. And I can really relate. This is a wonderful poem you have written.


  • Free1977
    April 10, 2007

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    WONDERFUL EXPRESSION

    THE EXPRESSION OF YOUR FEELINGS AND EMOTION ARE EVIDENT IN THIS POEM...I'M SENDING YOU BEST WISHES AND HOPE FOR WONDERUS POWER TO OVERCOME THE HORRORS OF EVERYDAY LIFE...AWAYS A FRIEND WHEN YOU NEED FRANCES

  • nobodys-girl
    April 8, 2007
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    i love it. i tried sorta the same thing only not as much. i became so rude and mean to my friends so that i had none. thinking if i had no friends and killed myself, no one would care or hurt. anyway this peom is awesome. thankyou so much for entering and good luck.

  • Xgeekdreamgonewrong
    April 6, 2007
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    This is soooooooo good, I wish I could write this well!

  • KnightOfShadows
    April 6, 2007
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    this poem was really depressing I liked it Im also glad to hear your not suicidal anymore I used to be myself but like you I'm on medication now so I know exactly what you've been through. anyway great write and good luck in the contest!!!!



    -Steve-
1 - 11 of 11