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[ Breathe deep, my love: ]

Breathe deep, my love:
Let all your suffering
Drain out with your blood.

Breathe softly, my heart,
For death is ever near
Listening and watching.

Speak softly, my darling;
Let not his attention
Be brought here to you.

Speak fervently, my dear.
Old and withered we may be
But we can still feel.

Believe fervently, my angel
and do not be torn from life.
Only bleed a little more.

Believe deeply, my sweet.
You will defeat the pain.
Leave it to writhe like it did you.


Breathe deep, my treasured.

I've staunched your cut;
So speak no more of dying.


Breathe deep, my love, and live.

Author notes

Option #2.

My immortal soul likes forever.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • bigXfatXemo
    April 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    I loved the structure of this one! I think the use of 'My love' and 'My angel' etc worked really well, and the whole things had a really elegant yet dark air to it until the end. Loved it! Such a great write =] Keep it up!
    Frankie xXx


  • mowgli
    April 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I really like this poem! I like how you chaged from "my love" to "my heart" etc...

    This reminds me of a "love" poem I would write. Dark. lol. Well done, well done.


  • Darkened Seraph
    April 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thats one creepy poem till the end it works brilliantly too. you have used the word back really well, i really enjoyed reading this poem, well done. the flow was great and your choice of words to work with the word bank was brilliant, good luck


    • aestival
      April 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! It tok a while to figure out how to use all the words, I'm glad it worked!