I don’t believe in changes in this world anymore
Just those tales and fantasies I’ve been told of for so long
That’s how I see the world.
An everlasting battle,
A fight for what seems to be right; when in truth it is wrong
A tale in which someone will save me from what I am tired of, the same old day.
The world never changes; life isn’t as free as it should be.
I don’t want any more revelations, anymore battles fought out in wicked display.
A world that Is my own, a world I can call home.
I don’t believe in being purged of our sins.
Just tales from the bible that I’ve heard and been told for years.
That’s how I saw the past.
Another everlasting battle between two worlds, two states, two people for their differences.
A fight for what seems to be right; when back then it was.
I don’t believe in myself I guess.
Just the opinions and facts others have given.
The lies in this world I can’t call home.
The truth in this world I call home.
Author notes
Hm...I wrote this in a quick hurry in thinking up a new poem for the magazine at our school, it didn't get very far, but that's no reason for me to quit.
This is truly my aspects and true aspects from life today and back then.
A contest entry
- For those with four or less by Lactar Wolfgang.
375 points, ended April 9, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - General: Free Verse, Rhyme and Everything Else by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 140 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITTEN POEMS!!!!! by kavi22.
450 points, ended August 5, 2008, 137 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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interesting...i wasn't quite expectign the final stanza.
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The first thing that comes to mind about this entry is that it really is prose (rather than poetry). Definitely (and esspecially contemorarily speaking) there is some leway for authors in construction, but what you have written here is poetry in formating only (the line breaks are unnecessary as one could read this piece like one would read a novel).
The reading left me with a couple of questions. Firstly, it is difficult for me to tell exactly how the title connects to the text. If I had to guess I would say that it is that living itself is the battle; but that idea is contradicted by the writing, directly so by the last line in a more roundabout way when one considers how much of the text is spent discussing the conflict between others.
Second, this piece doesn't seem to address the realities of human nature. Perhaps, war, or the concept thereof, is a universal turth of man. Maybe we are not so much fated towards it as we are apt to choose it. I admit the distinction is fine, however, it remains that one would be a choice while the other, not.
One think I did like about this entry was that the author is careful to send across the idea that the difference between truth and lie is more than just the writer's opinion. Anything that we may really believe in must contain an element of epistemology - some things are true while others are not.
Thank you for your entry.
~Das -
I really like this. It is very revealing and provides a personal insight on your views of the world. I find it as interesting as I find it fascinating.
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Nice Work!
Very well penned and nicely done! It may have bene a quickie to attempt to ge tinto your schools newspaper but glad you're not discouraged from not being published there. excellent work you werote with this poem and keep up the good work
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Mmm, que interesante. I, however, disagree with the statement that the world never changes. It changes, but in a cyclical pattern--that is, it repeats and alters.
But I do like the line "A fight for what seems to be right; when in truth it is wrong", because it reflects the idea that there is no right or wrong, and that right and wrong are human concepts and that things are seldom -purely- good or -purely- evil, but a mix, depending on which perspective you see it from. I also liked the line "A tale in which someone will save me from what I am tired of, the same old, same old day.", because it reminds me of what I believed in two or so years ago when I longed to actually "be" something.
The lines "I don’t believe in myself I guess. / Just the opinions and facts others have given." particularly interest me. What do you mean by them?
Anyway, the last two lines were spectacular, and I rather liked the overall poem. Congratz on making the spotlight, dear.
Laterz!
~ [eRi]ca ~
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Hmm. It's alright, not my usual style to read. It seems to straight forward and I tend to be partial to the metaphor/literary devices of poetry.
However I did like: I don't believe in being purged of your sins. That's a nice line. You have several great lines, but like I said...Try the metaphor a little more.
Good write. -
You wrote this in a hurry? This is a great piece. You aren't afraid to express your opinion, and I don't think truth could ever get this far. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece.
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hmmm...hurry huh? well, i don't think i've ever written like this in a hurry even though most of mine take about ten minutes i don't think they have so much depth...nice write...
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This poem doesn't seem like it was wrote in a hurry!!! I mean it is deep and I love it. I have to say that this poem is extremely good and I hope you can begin to believe in yourself soon.
I love the line "Another everlasting battle between two worlds, two states, two people for their differences"
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I like it. It's kindda deep. Yup, sometimes life really brings you down. My opinion is that you should always believe in yourself and keep going on no matter what. You should always try to make things better, because life is hard enough as it is. Make it the best you can! ^.^ You won't be sorry! Anyway, love the poem! Keep up the good work!
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wkd - for a speed write this is awesome. i really like the 1st stanza:
I don’t believe in changes in this world anymore
Just those tales and fantasies I’ve been told of for so long
That’s how I see the world.
An everlasting battle,
A fight for what seems to be right; when in truth it is wrong
A tale in which someone will save me from what I am tired of, the same old, same old day.
The world never changes; life isn’t as free as it should be.
I don’t want any more revelations, anymore battles fought out in wicked display.
A world that Is my own, a world I can call home.
just... wow - well done. -
Rushed...you say?? That's pretty good. Very enlighetening, heartfelt and well written
It's sad when we are lost. Hopefully you will believe and trust in yourself again someday.
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Thank you for entering I think it was a good write, nice job you penned a great piece here keep writing
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<3
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Hmmm for being in a quick hurry this is an awesome poem
. it'd be awesome if it wasn't a quick hurry too. It's kinda true, but it's also not. We're always fighting for what's right- just right is such a broad area and everyone thinks their right 
. So it ends up being all wrong o.o
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
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Very true. Wonderful job. It is "an everlasting battle" indeed.
-Sheko -
I liked this free verse style. Very good write.
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i liKED THIS a lot its ace its true and more ppl should see that
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The poem is very nice and I espically like the this "I don’t believe in being purged of your sins..
Just tales from the bible that I’ve heard and been told for years.
That’s how I saw the past."
this war a really great poem.
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nice poem kiddo! you speak the truth, todays world. but happiness and love can still be found, we just have to search for it. loved the poem kiddo! keep writing, and talent like your shouldnt go to waste.
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great peom hun!!! i love the emoton put behind it!!
<3
crisis
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I love this poem! It has so much feeling, and I can really relate! I don't know why, but this poem really connects with something in me. Great job! The title fits it well, too.
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I love your title for this. It just matches so well with your overall content. Bravo.
!~Anne
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I love this poem. The first stanza has a sense of detachment from everything, of waiting for something, anything to finally happen. The first line of the last stanza is perfect, sort of hesitant.
I really know where you're coming from with this. And the title suits it perfectly, which I always have trouble with.
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I really like this. I think you've done a pretty good job. I love the line
A fight for what seems to be right; when in truth it is wrong
Just, truth is wrong, love that. Really good work -
this is a really good write.. great way of expressing those thoughts..
deep yet very true n simple piece..
good job there!
~rana~
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That is deep. When you write do you really feel that or is it just words?
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Most of my poetry, well as you can clearly see, is based on life, and how I see it, or someones life and what they deal with every single day. But this poem was rushed and I don't see how I did such a good job on it, and it happens to be a favourite of mine. In truth, I can't answer your questiong correctly for me myself, I have not a clue.
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