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♥Controlled love ♥

life,love,or happiennes is this what

you want from me?You expect me to give

you something so sweet and dear to me, just

so you coud destroy like you've done to everything

else yo've taken from me or were you planing to

play with it like you did to my heart

 

Everything i've ever bought for my self you've claimed

for yourself.How long do you expect me to last and go

on living a life of being controlled by a bio like you.how

much must i pay just so i could be free for a day.I'm tired

of having my heart be controlled.

 

If i allowed you to live my life just for a day what would

you do to me.Would you be able to see how hard it is to

live this way and set my heart free or would you just countuie to

abuse my heart evan though you aren't mine but you control

my heart.

 

Don't you see you are the  hands who control my strings to make a

puppet like me walk,talk,love,live, and brethe.Please drop the strings

and just let me die so my love and soul could be free.

 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Entwining Beauty
    October 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    amazingly written good luck


  • Beautyfull-x-Angel
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    simply amazing i love it thanx for entering and good luck


  • forever and ever
    June 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was very good. i thought it had a lot of emotion. i didn't like your choice of spelling though. i'm a mental case when it comes to grammar. but i thought you put a lot of yourself into it! great write, keep it up, and good luck in the contest.


  • lonelyvampireboy666
    June 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    nice write it is so powerfull
    i like this piece greatly


  • HisDarlingDisaster
    May 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is really good. A few grammer errors, but still pretty good. thanks for entering my contest!


  • XxMysticalFantasyxX
    April 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really powerfull write keep it up you are verry talented...I wish you the best of luck in this contest..you have great skills...this poem had a really nice flow as well good luck


  • Game Master
    April 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    You misspelled a few words and you need to capitalize a few I's but you did great!! I love it


  • Romily
    April 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    If i allowed you to live my life just for a day what would

    you do to me.Would you be able to see how hard it is to

    live this way and set my heart free or would you just countuie to

    abuse my heart evan though you aren't mine but you control

    my heart.

    i like this part very much..


  • JessTheRentyMess
    April 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    ok...

    this has some emotion out of it but there are spelling and grammer mistakes all over the place. if you could fix all of them this might turn out to be a winning poem. fix if you like. keep writing good luck and have fun

    Jess


  • Great Cthulhu
    April 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Don't you see you are the hands who control my strings to make a puppet like me walk,talk,love,live, and brethe.Please drop the strings and just let me die so my love and soul could be free."
    This stanza really jumped out at me. Excellent imagery! Not sure if the misspellings were intentional, if not, the spell check can be your best friend. Couldn't find the 'good' slant you were working. Powerful write. Good luck in the contest.

1 - 10 of 10