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~Goodbye~

 

 

 

 

 

There’s no desire left
to dance with wildflowers.

Allow me to retreat

with dignity
to my black room
of blame.
My feet rubbed raw
from grit and gravel
travels
over torn pages

of pride,

conceived from married wishes

and vowed promises.

Sagacious scoffing sun,
with hints
of umber undertones,
destroys my satisfaction.

 
Uninvited are
these negative nuances,
my naivety
and unhinged utterances;

imitated memories
mocking me.

Past tense photographs,

ridiculing reminders

of what was,
stuttered,

staggered,
on waning white walls
of goodbye.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Marriage everlasting...not.

Word bank used:

black room
white walls
wildflowers
scoffing sun
retreat
torn pages
unhinged
uninvited
photograph
gravel
undertone(s)
conceived

#6) One or more of these quotes: Do not use these in your poem.
D. "This is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but a whimper."
- T.S Eliot, "The Hollow Men"

Image: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/12507107/?qo=64&q=black+room+&qh=boost%3Apopular+age_sigma%3A24h+age_scale%3A5

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • wispy
    October 8, 2007

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    As I read this poem I found myself thinking the words in monotone; as if I was the one feeling hurt. Impressive poem; mainly because the emotions you are trying to express scream back at me.


  • wiccanway
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very nice write, obviously as shown by the trophies it has earned you. i love the effect of the black background and white lettering... adds a special something it. good choice.


  • csmmoms2
    September 23, 2007

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    Stunning

    Quite beautifully written & love really is written in black and white isn't it. In the light we thrive in the shadows we wither. I'd like so share a song written by Amy Grant -"If these walls could speak" it's on my page. c


  • Tangled Angle
    July 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent.


  • Riftkin gold member
    July 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    nothing is forever, love, marriage, life


  • Ryno
    July 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very emotional, and simple but complex with thoughts and sentiments. Wonderful job with the word back, whiche personally, I find such a challenge to do sometimes. Wonderful job.


  • Allure of a Rose
    July 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Mmm, very nice.
    Finally something worth reading.
    I love the opening lines.
    This is classy, and impressive.
    Definitely will be considered.

    -Allura


  • Swan song gold member
    July 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is an excellent [poem and I will be back to read it again

  • Improv Machinery
    July 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    nice work. i love the imagery. i could feel myself walking barefoot on gravel as i read this. thanks for the entry and best of luck in my contest.


  • Ninth-Poet
    June 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    deeply depthful

    This piece of masterful literature was undoubtedly intense and vivaciously overflowing with intense streams of gushing emotions. I simply relished every word. As I truly , this piece.

    -Keep the ink flowing!
    -Good luck in the contest!
    -Sage of the east


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    May 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was really saad and brought tears to my eyes
    no one should ever be lead to fill this way
    a wonderful and emotional poem
    thnx and good luck


  • animated lies
    April 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is very surreal & beautiful. I love alliterations, and more importantly, I love alliterations that make sense and don't jumble up useless words and call it "poetry." But this is most definitely poetry my friend. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • Heavens Child
    April 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, the imagery in this piece is stunning and the wording is brilliant. Fabulous job with this. Thank you for the entry in my contest.


  • Vera Jewel
    April 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think yours is the first poem that actually fit into my contest the way I wanted. Kudos to you.
    I love it.


  • Whoochi gold member
    April 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely stunning, your choice of words in this...Yes, too often, broken promises, shattered dreams of a marriage that once was....terrible hurt and pain with regret and sadness...My fav lines ..."Uninvited are
    these negative nuances
    of naivety
    and unhinged utterances

    of imitated memories,
    mocking me."
    This is true in most broken relationships....Magnificent use of all the words here...brought forth emotions that most can identify with...good luck


  • poet2angels gold member
    April 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    So emotional and intense, my friend..
    Excellent use of the word bank and the flow, and everything about this poem is excellent....
    Good luck in the contest, but I don't think you need it...
    This is a masterpiece.....

    Lynda

1 - 19 of 19