You taunted me about my ink stained fingers,
as you untangled my words from your hair.
Each syllable falling across your lips
before being caught by your tongue and swallowed.
I wandered free in your forest of images
touching your soul as it refracted
then echoed through the vines of your past.
I heard you cry, “Catch me!” as you dove from the pier.
From the reaches of your briny marshes,
through the wheat strewed golden fields, past
old oak barrel barns, to the storied island I have followed
the wind, till I found your breath wrapped around my name.
Your teeth unwilling to release me. I am
holding your heart in both my hands, knowing
you will never hear me. I make no demands. Bitten
and chewed, I choose to love you.
12:48 AM
04/05/07
Alexandria, VA
Author notes
The more plain jane doesn't see about herself the more hypnotic she becomes
In a list
A contest entry
- DELANEY'S ELITE................................BITE ME by Dalaney.
450 points, ended April 6, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you feel
Comments
1 - 67 of 67
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This is just beautiful as always
I choose to love you~You taunted me about my ink stained fingers as you untangled my words from your hair.wander free in your forest of images Your teeth unwilling to release me. I am holding your heart in both my hands, knowing you will never hear me...I choose to love you!...breath taking
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This is a song of love and knowing that the one loved is still learning to believe. She knows and still cannot accept that it is her. Love, Tom B.
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Wonderful, again
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The greater our pleasure in the person, the deeper the joy in being in their company. Works both ways I have found. Funny thing about that.
Peace & Love, Tom B.
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I found the enjambment of 3rd & 4th stanzas to be disruptive after the flow of the 1st & 2nd stanzas. The way this is written makes me feel like you are speaking of one's muse (minus the phrase "I make no demands") I became engrossed in the poem and wished it had not been cut short.
~*Starr*~ xxxxx -
Congrats on the Gold for this lovely write, Tom. It's most deserved.
Such an interesting interpretation of the value of a 'plain jane' to the eyes of the beholder, though not the same as her own eyes. Intriguing piece.
~Lori
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Very deserving of a gold and applause and a particularly endearing ending.
should "strewed be strewn? just a thought
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Since this poem is included in a list of Plain Jane poems I hope that you will treat us to more of her. I loved the imagery in this poem and I especially loved the line "your breath wrapped around my name. I can see why this won a gold trophy. Very well done.
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Thank you. There are images that felt like magic when I wrote them. These feel like gifts. Love, Tom B.
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What an adventure reading this. I find that each sentence, each stanza were written so adequately and beautifully...the luridness and tragedy of this poem i think are are major aspects, ones which really astound and put the reader into a trance-like state wherein they read the frist lines only to want to read more.
"Your teeth unwilling to release me. I am
holding your heart in both my hands, knowing
you will never hear me. I make no demands. Bitten
and chewed, I choose to love you."
I think you should write a book, definitely write a book.
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you and poet2angels when it comes to plain jane and a book. Quite a few more will have to be written. This is just my fourth attempt at describeing plain jane. We will have to see what becomes of her. Read Plain Jane Sings the Blues and tell me what you think. Love, Tom B.
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Very nice write, I will ahve to explore more of her world that you ahve generated. Some of the lines seemed a bit awkward in form, but that is simply opinion. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *
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Please do. Poet2Angels says I should create a book. I don't know if there are that many out there. I would love to know what lines you found awkward. I am always available to learn and discover more. I don't take criticism personally. I take it constructively. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Love, Tom B.
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Nice imagery. I don't do very well criticsizing free verse, but I thought this was pretty good.
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In free verse the images and metaphors are everything. You can argure the use of lyricism, but I like to have it be a part of my poems. Glad you enjoyed this enough to comment. Thanks for sharing.
Love, Tom B.
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"You taunted me about my ink stained fingers,
as you untangled my words from your hair.
Each syllable falling across your lips
before being caught by your tongue and swallowed."
I see why you won the gold, too...This is a beautiful penning, Poet...I like your comment, "The more plain jane doesn't see about herself the more hypnotic she becomes"...Guess that's why I wear glasses...'cause I don't see it, either...Sensual, powerful, profound...indeed, hypnotic...Well done, my Friend... Wanda
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I am finding that Plain Jane is becoming a symbol for people. Enough so that they are taking ownership of it and telling me if I have expressed her in a way they agree with. Quite amazing.
I have been exploring how sensual is a statement of relationship with the world. Feelings. We want them and are afraid of the good ones because of our feelings of vulnerability, our inarticulate desire to be heard, seen and felt as we mean to be. Knowing that minds are unread, and hearts unseen -- we dream instead.
Thanks for all of your kind words.
Love, Tom B.
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I can see why.
I can see why you won the gold. I know that it made for some excellent poetry. You truly did well on this one. -
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Thanks. Plain Jane thanks you. Creator and created are often wed for far longer than they realize. Love, Tom B.
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I was a little daunted by the title, I will admit. But after reading just the first line, I was hooked. This was an amazing piece, truely reflicting an emotion that we can all relate to. Done with such artisty, I can only find so many ways to describe a work like this. I have read that others have tried to attempt as well, but have all fallen short of the true beauty in these words.
Certainly well deserved of a gold medal, and then something else! (What, I am not entirely sure, but something else, indeed!)
Burmina -
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This was a write that demanded my attention. Plain Jane is a name I came up with for a study on the interior woman. The place where beauty is truly found. This is but a declaration of love to one who is truly beautiful but has learned to hear its echoes in her own heart. It is about love and how it is always a choice.
I am honored indeed to have you share you joy and the way this poem touched you. The praise is no where near as meaningful to me as the way you found yourself egar to read the next line of how my words feel upon your heart. Thank you.
Love, Tom B.
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My First Impression...
...of this write is that you're the kind of writer that could incite inspiration, with your word usage and imagery alone. As I read, I found myself excited with ideas for the kinds of writes I produce.
To me, this is such an original write about how things can be outside of our power, how helpless we can be. I do not think I have ready anything quite like your style-very unique, which is in itself, a gift.
Impressive! -
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Thank you. Your praise runs high. I feel honored to receive it. If you truly like this sort of thing then this one should make your heart ring.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2166526
Love, Tom B.
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Doving can be painful I have always found. Especially from piers when the tide has doved off into the dusk. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
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May the doves of peace leave blessings on your forehead. Peace.
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BEAUTIFUL WRITE
Truly a beautiful write for beauty is in the eye of the beholder . I loved this write -
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This is just a comment on love and the confusion in recieveing. Love is not the relationship. It is what impowers it. I am so glad you were willing to share the joy you recieved from this piece. Love, Tom B.
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congratulations on a well deserved gold trophy for this wonderful write i shall have to come read more soon but easter,(and family birthdays) take up my time, looking forward to reading more of your work soon
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These are the well spun dreams of the on looker, received and filed but still un realized. Plain Jane has a story. Don't we all. And like all of us she, on occasion, chooses not to hear what the world has to offer when it doesn't fit her story. Love,Tom B.
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your first jane poem was more honest to building her character. while this was a phenomenal write, it seems more like one of your fantastic sensual poems rather than a "jane" series one.
but congratulations on the gold you are fabulous and you know it, don't you? 
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Even Jane has a sensual side. These are all about the interior journey. The way the pieces of her world come together and flow apart. It is a journey of discovery. Love, Tom B.
Fabulous. Me? Not sure. I strive to be a decent, kind man. Everything else after that are gifts from someones heart. Yours has always made me feel blessed.
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Whewwww! Gorgeous, evocative, and painfully aware are the thoughts in this one. The first image, 'untangling my words from your hair" hit like an arrow. Seems clear to me! LOL Mesmerism...
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Brandy served in a Golden challis
Congratulations Tom. Well written, I'll need to go back and read up on Jane. Is the the same famous Jane of the Dick and Jane series?
Enjoyed this,
Buddy
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Beautiful
Your words are expressive and powerful. I couldn't stop reading it. I love your title. I choose to love you....that part really summed everything up. Really great job. -
Alot of depth and richness I this poem. The wisdom is of someone who has experinced life on many deminsions. I can see why this a Gold trophy winner. It's truly worthy of it.
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed the piece. This was its own joy to write.
Tom B.
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This is a wonderful write of images of another who you feel has yet to discover how they can affect one's heart and art without knowledge. Great write my brother.
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We all touch each other. We create everyday the world we live in. I really try to create a beautiful one and share it with everyone I meet. I start by trying to let them feel loved and cared for.
Love Tom B.
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Much richenss found in these lines - wisdom and contentment with the choices you made. Congratulations on this golden award. Enjoy reading all your replies to the comments as well.
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The poetry and the people deserve time and consideration. I try to say something worth reading. It is my way of saying thankyou.
Glad you enjoyed my effort. Love Tom B.
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Wanted to say congratulation on your gold trophy, this Plain Jane of yours would be smiling I am sure. Love, C
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Thanks dear.
Love Tom B.
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EXCELLENT...love the idea of the chase...Plain Jane tis my middle name..HA...the imagery and description you detail is right on ."I wandered free in your forest of images
touching your soul as it refracted
then echoed through the vines of your past.
.." Such mystery and enchantment echoes in this for me...TY! Once again, you amaze me with your creative energy and perspective pieces...Another one of your treasures, and I nervously wait for another....
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This is an on going study in the elementals of love and belief. Sounds so heavy. It is not. It is kind of bubbley. Thanks for all your kind words and belief in me. Love Tom B.
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hmmmm.... [scratches head]... interesting. very interesting.
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I hope it grows and shows you a brighter light. Love, Tom B.
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you hope what grows??? LoL. Weirdo!
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Outstanding! I read this several times because I know there is more here than my novice eyes can spot at first or even second read.
As I go over each stanza, my metaphorical mind sees Plain Jane as being a Muse. And such treasures she brings to you, my friend.
I adore the ending. Someone taught me that loving, and all that it encompasses, is a choice. There is a sense of contentment in this closing.
Lovely.
Cris
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A Muse, a gift, a shadow shrouded light, each aspect of her the exposure of the inner being that delights the soul. A chance to dance with the inner self in a femine dream.
Love is always a choice. Need is a demand. Relationships a structure we create to allow us to hang our histories upon and become blinded by beliefs. Rare are the moments in any life when we see past what we were born into to what we are born for. Seek to express your joy and listen to the music of your heart. Love, Tom B.
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Wow, so beautiful and well worded, rhythmical and smooth. The content so lovely, great job.
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Thanks for sharing your joy in the lyricism. The songs that fill our lives so often play to deaf ears. This is another Plain Jane piece. Each a facet of a complex being. Love, Tom B.
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In whisper she will hear your call She found you and called out your name and you heard her voice. Your choice to listen or turn a deaf ear....the choice is yours ...you choose love dont we all choose to love
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We are so dependant on the sounds of our voice when we should listen to our hearts. Plain Jane is about the interior choices against the reflection of a world caught by outward thrills. Love, Tom B. Thanks for your kind comments.
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This is the first poem of yours I have read. I like the imagery and the complexity of thought and relationship behind it. The last stanza describes unconditional love, self sacrificing and unrecognized. The pain can be acute. The title seems ironic, since she both hears and does not hear. Interesting, good luck.
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Plain Jane is the title creation of a study. I, now, have three poems in this list. All love should be by choice and an act of Faith. Relationships are the painful and ironic mixing of cluttered histories. Love Tom B.
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Your brandy is waiting
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A sip to savor, a dream too bold, the sound of the water slapping against the pier, I wink, run my fingers along a cheek. Cheers!
Love, Tom B.
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Well done
I wandered free in your forest of images
touching your soul as it refracted
then echoed through the vines of your past.
I heard you cry, “Catch me!” as you dove from the pier.
Very well done. It made me think. I love your imagery -
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Thank you. Plain Jane is an on going creation. Love is and interior journey. We are fools if we think about the outside. At best it is only the wrapper. Love, Tom B.
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Despite it being a very good while reading your work, it's your style that hasn't changed a bit. The appealing of this piece is of one where the images speak for themselves with ease of simplicity. Keep penning fellow Virginian
Rae
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This is just a piece in an on going series. The joy of Plain Jane is just that. We should be so blessed. I have another I am playing with. Love, Tom B.
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Very interesting. As a Neo-Reichian, I cannot help but want to analyze this. But, I can't. It is too pretty. So, I am just going to let it stand alone and admire it, hoping that Janie wins the Hazzard County Peach Cobbler bake-off and your prize zucchini turns out to be the biggest. I love happy endings! Three bunnies for this wonderful write.
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Guess it is better than a cantalope. never know how to handle the melons in the first place. still if the judges are fair . . .
Tom B. Got plenty of room for bunnies.
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Maybe you can enter a couple of acorn squash to go with that zucchini. More entries give you a better chance to win.
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Saw the judges grin when they licked the juices from their chins when they bit into my watermelon
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The breeze still whispers in this, she would hear it a million miles away but I think she is much closer than you dared her to be, you gave clarity and opened up endless possibilities on an island somewhere in the middle of the ocean. Love, C
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Love, Tom B.
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