For all its intelligence and grandeur
science cannot grant life.
All life stems from water
and to water all life will return.
‘Tis an odd beginning
but the words have touched the paper
and so the story flows.
<~>
Light is bright and opaque
and the land is green with
rainbows dancing like pixies
where flowers might be.
Upon a hill, a castle fair,
parapets high and trumpet’s cry
heralding all to raindrop square.
And there, old and young, magic
and non-magic gather to hear
the glorious newborn news.
In a shimmering, mother-of-pearl dress
from a balcony
caressed side by side
by whispering rainbows,
the princess spreads their tidings.
Our cycle back to the sea has been extended
for we have been granted the greatest of honors;
We are to bring forth a new life
in the world beyond.
<~>
Flagging down a taxi in 4:00 traffic,
a woman looks up perturbed at the sky
as the first raindrop of the coming storm
lands on her forehead – She is unaware
of the life she now carries
or its unyielding capacity to love.
Copyright © 2007
(All Rights Reserved)
Author notes
BG image and picture from visualparadox.com
In a list
A contest entry
- Whatever You wish by BabyBun.
525 points, ended April 7, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quickie Best Prewrite 10 entries Only! by Child of an Angel.
425 points, ended May 5, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Looking For Crickets by Celticmoon.
1500 points, ended July 15, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something Different, OLD or NEW {{Pre-writes Allowed}} by PerfectImperfection.
525 points, ended August 5, 2007, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 87 of 87
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Always a personal favorite of mine.
"rainbows dancing like pixies where flowers might be"
I love that line. ~Pamela 
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truth found in the blink of eye where wisdom is simply found!
I did enjoy this!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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Just had to come back and read again. I have always loved this piece. Makes me smile. ~Pamela
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Fantastic
this poem is great, I love the imagery that is through out the poem is superb. absolutely love this background. great job. beautifully written.
Love these lines:
Light is bright and opaque
and the land is green with
rainbows dancing like pixies
where flowers might be.
Upon a hill, a castle fair,
parapets high and trumpet’s cry
heralding all to raindrop square.
Kat
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Wow! This one has my jaw on the floor. So, poet, artist and philosopher? Master of all trades. lol This truly is excellent and deeply provocative. I'm not sure if this will make sense to you but, you've breathed life into life. I am in awe of this poem, Ken. Outstanding.
Ash
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Holy cow, that was just amazing...it brought so many inanimate objects to "Life" for me, I am catching myself looking up, at my ceiling, wishing for those raindrops..You, Poet, are a Master..I sit here, in awe...I really do.
Always love,
Jin
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This is perfect poetry and deserves the spotlight position. I love the way it is broken up and how it all links up in the end. Well done on a wonderfully creative and splendid piece of penmanship. This is a winner and showcases a lot of talent. The link between the second and third parts of this work really worked exceedingly well.
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Fantastic work
First of all congratulations on your awards with this top notch write, I thank the person who featured this
for it has much to say, much to think about, and is so very well expressed,
Blessings.Tearz
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beautiful!
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First of all I really like your background and your attention to detail; your confident grasp of the English language and your obvious ability with imagery. But I can't quite get my head around the poem itself. It starts off really well, but by the second part, I keep seeing the Princess Bride meets the Little Snowflake. Beautiful though your writing is, it's just a little too much fairyland for me. And the final verse/part is so incongruous. I don't understand the last two lines.. the possibilities seem TOO endless.
Ah well. You seem to have struck a few chords with this piece. And who am I to argue with that?
best wishes
~ fox
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Despite the mass conflagration of cliche imagery, there's a really nice backdrop of thought and profundity. I suspect you could embrace it more closely and make the piece succinct, which would be an improvement. I enjoyed the message and the contrast used to express it.
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ooo the last image is amazing. this will ever be in my head now everytime the first drop falls on my head. I can just picture the girl looking up as she steps into the taxi....nice
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this is most definitely so worthy of that gold trophy...congratulations. It is one of those writes that makes one stop and think, and it will also remain in mind for dissection of message for awhile. Definitely an "intelligent" write [for lack of a better word], intelligent as in like previously mentionned [it leads to thinking about it]Thank you for sharing,
reenie
. Rewarded 8
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"All life stems from water
and to water all life will return."
My grandmother used to say; "water is life". The body is predominately water, the earth, the firmament... The imagery in your work is absolutely is stunning! Just gorgeous! I love every word, every feeling, every nuance, EVERYTHING!
Brilliant work! Worthy of the GOLD CUP!
Much Love & Many Blessings ♥
Renee
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Thanks it is my favorite
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Yup still cricketing
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read again
I had to return to read this magic poem. It is full of imagery and questions. Food for thought and beautiful dedcription make your poem a beauty.
Richard -
This is brilliant - the entry statement, the 'unreal journey', and then reality - but thanks for the ending: "...the life she now carries
or its unyielding capacity to love". I am honoured to have stopped here. -
Congrats on the gold. A stunning piece you have penned here.
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thank you for commenting
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Congratulations
I am so pleased to see a winning gold on this wonderful verse. Congratulations dear one! But as you know, it has always been gold in my book. ~Pamela
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This is such a truly deep and thought provoking write. A sort of epiphany of purpose from such a small understanding, unaware of the beauty around us. Nicely penned piece. Thank you for your entry & Best wishes in the contest!
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that last stanza: amazing.
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I reread this all the time it is my favorite piece.
thanks
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after reading this i am filled with pixie impishness within three dynamics.
such religion or science... the oddity of it all and though within your words its simplified where there can be no argument
Parapet... i adore this word...
There parapet on which she stood...
Leaned heavily against the wind...
And you, caught within a pensive mood..
Stretched forth your hands unpinned...
This second section sent me so many places...
Romance of light beyond the words
Then the smack of reality in this world
within it so much of the unknown
thank you for your comment on my work
it is appreciated.
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I find this piece just so unique! Life within a raindrop, personally I would never have thought of such an idea for a piece of poetry, but alas it has created a work of art that is music to the heart of a poet. Stellar penning! Thank you for entering and good luck!
Blessings
Bel
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thank you, it is my personal favorite. I was struggling to write at all and a close friend said "I want you to write about the world within a rain drop" and this just poured out as easy as can be,
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incredibly beautiful
I am so glad I stopped to read this wonderful poetry. You have such brilliant ideas. Life forever - eternity of Mother Nature- a rebirth in God's creation - not that of man!
Let us hope 'the coming storm' is temporary for the story you have told does flow forever.
You are so clever. Congratulations on a magnificent poem.
Richard
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Richard,
thank you kindly for your comment,I find myself stopping by this piece often; I can never seem to read it enough. I was having trouble writing so a friend asked me to write about the world inside a raindrop and this just flowed out as easy as can be.
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cricket
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Nice!!!
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Ahhh
I still love this piece... Had to come back and read it again. A pleasure to have done so too. ~Pam
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I liked the content of this write, you got it all across so magically and with a perfect flow. Loved the ending, its a beautiful way of doing it. Thanks for entering and Good luck!
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This was one interesting piece of writing, I really liked it. It was well written and the spacing didn't distract, but the content is what really grabbed my attention, what an interesting way to look at something so ordinary.
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Wow Congrats on the honourable mention it was well deserved. This was a really good poem- I liked the wording here. This was an interesting philosophical write
Thanks for your comment
Pozo
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that's really amazing. i love your work. that last stanza really got to me. props to you ^-^
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Thank you, it is a favorite of mine
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Good Write!
I like the shifts in this. Its one of those pieces that makes you think. Very well written.
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thank you kindly
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Beautiful. The way it was written is so lovely, it was very enjoyable. The pace and wording were both wonderful, plus the idea just seemed out there. I liked it a lot.
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BANDITS UNITED *grin*
Sorry this is a bit late, I was not on at all yesterday
I love the flow of this piece and the message within it. Water is an underappreciated resource and is more than that; it is the basis for so much that we often overlook. Thank you for this reminder of that, and so poetically written! The background so compliments this piece as well. Beautiful art created dear poet!
Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *
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Thank you kindly, my lady.
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BANDITS UNITED
What a powerful and profound piece this is. It gives a wonderfully delightful perspective to birth and life.
And as your image above, it seems to echo the perpetuality of life.
An excellent piece, and the background and picture are beautiful as well.
Dee
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thank you
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I like your first two lines, making me think. But then it becomes a fantasy, intermingled with shades of reality, well worked, I liked itvery much.
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thank you
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Bandits united!!!
a wonderful piece! With extraordinary imagery. great flow and deep emotional expression. A powerful poem and a much enjoyable read!
Love & Light
Debbera
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Bandits United
A meaningful poem.
And I found so many images with truth-daring quality in it.
Nicely done.
RD.
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Bandits United!!!
Congrats on the HM!! What a wonderful write so full of wonderful imagery and emotion. Excellent flow and rhythm. I so enjoyed reading. Keep up the wonderful writing Enjoy your day today and Happy Easter
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Bandits United
strong and powerful writing, deep emotions, a grand imagery... the use of words shows off your talent a enjoyable read...Congrads on the HM
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Bandits United!
Congratulations on receiving an HM for this amazing piece of poetry. What a lovely, different piece of writing! The imagination is a powerful tool, and you have reached into yours and pulled out a gem, firing up that of your reader, apparently with little effort. Fantastic stuff! Methinks I may wander into your page and check out some more of your work.
Well written, deat Poet! Fine stuff here, and it has been a pleasure to make your acquaintance...
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thank you kindly, for your comments and your interest in my other works - it has been an honor.
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Bandits United!
Bandits United!
Wonderful job here. Especially enjoyed the line
science cannot grant life
And how true that is. Loved the flow and rhythm of this poem, found it to be very smooth and welcoming. Struck a chord here.
~M~
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Bandits United!
Congratulations on Your trophy win on a Magnificent piece that quenches the thirst within the Mind
Powerful piece You have penned and love the picture You painted with Your quill and on this canvas for us
to inhale~
Loved this one!
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Bandits united
In a shimmering, mother-of-pearl dress
from a balcony
caressed side by side
by whispering rainbows,
the princess spreads their tidings.
In a shimmering, mother-of-pearl dress
from a balcony
caressed side by side
by whispering rainbows,
the princess spreads their tidings.
I really like your imagery in my it has a fansty
style feel to in some ways
lands on her forehead – She is unaware
of the life she now carries
or its unyielding capacity to love.
When you get of this line you know there is more to the story. So I had to reread it again. I think it a story in a story with a poetic form and feel more like a hybrid poem. Only flaw I can see is the reader may get so wrap up in the words. I feel there a powerful message being said here the flaw is not with you this is beauty.
lands on her forehead – She is unaware
of the life she now carries
or its unyielding capacity to love.
This is a form of a Zen light feel an inlighted moment she caring a life in her womb
The line that science can not reproduced life. It like a parapsychology statement against clonning
this is what I feel am I off in left field. I agree that human life comes from a mother that loves her child.
You have done a great job at this hybrid poem it modern free verse style wrap in with someone other stories. Good write believable applies to life issues here and now.
Done in a creative way to get your point
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I thank you for your thoughtful comment. even the foolish and dagerous act of cloning is only an alteration not a creation of life.
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A particularly interesting piece - thanks for the entry and good luck!
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Thank you kindly for the HM it was my pleasure to write.
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BANDITS UNITED!
This is an amazing poem in the way that you have touched my fantasy side, it's so nice to go down the path of a fantasy, get away from serious life...you have penned some weird and wonderful thoughts
I've read this a few times before commenting because it is so engaging [The world inside a raindrop]...what an imagination you have I think you could build a story around this and place this poem into it...there is a great sense of serenity on this page, and gives an impression of looking through a keyhole to a magic kingdom, something we would long to be a part of, but can't because it is all fantasy 
When I read it over again, I could also see a metaphor of life, real to us, water giving life, like in the raindrop in your last stanza, after all we are made up of 80% water, without water there would be no life on earth..but the metaphor goes much deeper than that, and will probably have me rambling on and on in this comment box
so I will end it here
Overall Impact on me: Definitely grabbed my attention, thought provoking, powerful, entrancing, will be memorable long after reading, impressive, expressive, good use of language, and most of all inspiring...a pure joy to read
~lilac
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dear Lilac, thank you for the kind words and your well thought out comments. there is no end to the satifaction in knowing someone has read and understands!
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Such a unique write, quite interesting, it captivates the reader from beginning to end. well done here!
BANDITS UNITED!
Suzi
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Bandits Unite!
Thank you for sharing such an inspirational piece. I love the way you cease to rhyme, as it's different and fits the philosophical/skeptical viewpoint that I am feeling from your entry. I think this work is a beautiful way of expressing how you believe life and the sciences work. Well done.
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Bandits United!!
Gorgeous! This is such a superb and interesting write! Fascinating metaphor, excellent vocabulary, wonderful weaving of subtle alliteration and assonance. You capture the reader's attention quickly in the first line and hold their attention with the gentle and effortless flow of this piece. Beautifully written and very unique! This was a terrific piece to read first this morning! A true pleasure.
~Lori
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thank you, this is becoming one of my personel favorites with each read. To think I was looking at a blank page and a friend IMed me saying just write about the world inside a raindrop.
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Well, I think you've done a magnificent job of taking the simplicity of a raindrop and transforming it into a fascinating metaphor. I love the presentation of this on the page, too. Excellent work! You should be quite proud of this lovely accomplishment.
~Lori
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BaNdiTS UniTEd
WATER!! I am so glad for water and thank you for your wonderful poem of water appreciation! A fine write, most definitely!
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BANDITS UNITED!!
You've done a wonderful job with language here. The sound of the poem is great and the words flow together seamlessly. I especially loved the last stanza. Not only does it show the cyclical process of nature, it also shows how much we take nature for granted. The rain is filled with life, and the woman can only scowl at it. I think this is a great piece. Good luck in the contest. >pixxie<
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thank you for taking the time to leave thoughtful comments on my poem they are appreciated.
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BANDITS UNITED!
A good write and presentation. Imaginative. Very good imagery, flow and tone. Vivid descriptives. Lovely depth of feeling. Good word choice. Nice alliteration and assonance. You are a very good storyteller. Well crafted and a much enjoyed read.
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thank you, for your studied and deliberate comments they are much appreciated, needed and welcomed.
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You're very welcome. My pleasure.
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BANDIT UNITED!
Very cool concept. In the final stanza where the lady is unaware of the life she now carries from a single raindrop. I image that all water, any water, teams with life, in reality, so that made this twice as interesting to me. Great job.
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Bandits United
Great work on this, a most interesting and thought provoking piece. thanks for sharing!
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BANDITS UNITED: This is your day - you are in the spotlight. Liked how this poem was separated into three sections, each a bit different that the other two, yet realted as well. Great presentation - picture and sidebar fit well together.
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