i was so angry, so bitter
i used to hit things when i saw u with him
you looked at him the same way you did me
i used to see this and want to fall to my knees
then i saw her break your heart the way you had once broke mine
thats when my eyes started to shine
now your heart is as bitter as mine.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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hmmm...
A very emotional piece,I can see that it is a true story, I get a bit confused, I think that's because I'm not sure whether it is the girl or the guy who broke your heart,tense is a bit wonky, but hey, maybe I read it wrong and they both broke your heart. I love the raw emotion of the piece, well done.
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Thanks for the comment on my poem, yours is good too, just kind of short.
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GOOD JOB LITTLE BROTHER
IM PROUD OF YOU .... YOUARE DOING BETTER THEN I EXPECTED... YOU ARE MAKING YOU OLDER SISTER VERY PROUD........ YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT JACOB POYNOR.. THAT MY FRIEND READ DRUNK DUCK..... ILOVED IT GREAT JOB!
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Very deep and beautifully written. It showed all of your anger and hate, and yet your used love, that seems as if it's been used, then thrown away.
Great Job
~~Meri~ -
i like it is that a true story
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Good i guess for ur first poem. I didn't follow all the way through sorry lol but still good. Keep writing and they always get better. You're young so just keep a good head on ur shoulder and.....what am i saying lol j/k good write
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