Heart Racing,
tears gath'ring.
But all behind a mask,
outside i give a smile
and uncomfortable glance.
I'm shaking, on the inside,
shifting away on the outside.
All I can Think,
all that i know,
all that i feel is danger.
He can touch me
from where he stands,
and he's moving.
Is it towards me?
It's that anxiety,
rumbling in my chest,
sending fear through my veins.
Not again,
oh no,
it can't happen, not here,
but it feels like then,
like right now it'll happen again.
I'm not safe,
and i know it.
My support group is gone.
The defenders who're normally there,
even when they don't know it,
they're gone,
it feels like they've abandoned me.
Slow tapping of the feet,
instincts telling me to run.
Tensing of the muscles,
or else I'll be undone.
Quickened breathing,
I'm ready to jet.
But i can't,
I can't leave.
And it's the same,
just like then,
if people hadn't been there i would have broke.
I hate that,
that i can break,
i hate myself for it,
but i can't hate him?
Just, just stay away,
but i can't say that,
and they can't know my past.
So on and on,
and the fear it pulses.
laughter,
they don't understand.
That's not their fault though,
but ,oh, how i want it to be.
But as always the blame's on me.
DON'T TOUCH ME!
stay back,
you're just like him,
i can tell.
the fear I've held hidden,
taken out unspoken,
you're the kind that cause it.
You'll be in jail one day for that,
but gods, don't let that reason be me.
Not again,
oh no,
it can't happen, not here,
but it feels like then,
like right now it'll happen again.
I'm not safe,
and i know it.
Heart Racing,
tears gath'ring.
Racing,
Trembling,
Gath'ring,
GO!
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