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Winged Words

Missing image




Can you touch a "Butterfly's lips"
with words so gently spoken?
or do you need to whisper on the
breeze, to catch her... attention.







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Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • raggyann
    April 8, 2007
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    oh this was so well writen
    a picture painted in my mind
    wonderful poem


  • Asdzaa Nadleehe
    April 8, 2007

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    oh this is such a beautiful little write..its so simple yet so very complex in its nature..
    I adore this..and the image as well..

    Thank you for sharing

  • exoticinnocence16
    April 8, 2007

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    Simple, yet elegant.

    I like this. It's simple, subtle, and elegant. Something that makes you stop and think for just a moment. Beautiful, keep it up. :]


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    April 8, 2007

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    Nice

    I like the softness of this poem. You captured the wistfulness of a butterfly by using words like "lips, gently, whisper, and breeze" instead of more course sounding words like "mouth,quietly, say, and wind." Good job!

    My favorite thing about this poem is the use of the ellipses at the end. When I got to "catch her," the poem had ended for me and I thought it was very nice. Then I immediately get this little bonus word, "attention." I thought that was masterful. It was like the poem had two different endings. Both had seperate, yet unified meanings. The use of the ellipses also mirrors the action of "catching." We wait for that perfect opportunity to reach her, to catch her.

    A couple of suggestions. First, this poem requires the possessive form of butterfly--"Butterfly's lips" (apostrophe, then "s", not "ies"). Also, you are asking a question, here, so a question mark at the end would normally signify that. You could leave the question mark off if you needed to. By the time you get to the end, you have almost forgotten that this poem is a question. That is actually another nice little surprise at the end, but unless you did in purposefully, I would change it to the question mrark.

    • cutiepie gold member
      April 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the constructive comments Often I miss the small niceties and only see the bigger picture,so it is with delight that I gratefully accept your kindness.


  • CurtimusMaximus
    April 8, 2007

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    Nice!

    Nice, concise, and vividly written. The picture is beautiful, but you've used few words to create an excellent word picture. Written in the form of a question, your poem becomes inviting!


    • cutiepie gold member
      April 8, 2007
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      Many thanks for your kind comments, delighted it found favour


  • Temptation.
    April 7, 2007
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    Imagery

    the picture caught my eye! I love butterflies!
    and the poem
    it leaves me wondering, it does!
    thnx for write! i really enjoyed reading this
    its simple and not really complicated
    and i think thats part of what make this so interesting and good!
    im glad the title caught my attention
    and i took the time to read this!


    • cutiepie gold member
      April 7, 2007
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      Often it is the simple things in life that please us most Delighted that you enjoyed these "winged words"


  • SandraMVeinot
    April 7, 2007
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    just for the fun of it...

    'Winged Words'.....I enjoy imagey so thats what catches my eye when I read poetry....and this one line has caught my eye and my thoughts this time.....'Can you touch a Butterflies lips'.....very interesting I now wonder if they even have lips...hehe...anyways, I thank you for the read, do keep writing...as always; Sandra

    • cutiepie gold member
      April 7, 2007
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      I often get the urge to write what some would call "trivia"...it normally happens when I cannot find a subject matter. Nature often comes to the rescue Thank you once again for your kindness (which will be returned )


  • LonesomeAngel
    April 6, 2007

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    beautifully written

    Wow!!! beauty in few words. It is poems such as these that make reading poetry worth reading and intrigue me so much. Well done this is perfection! Bravo!


    • cutiepie gold member
      April 7, 2007
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      Thank you Delighted that you enjoyed my dance with "nature"


  • Rock-Junkie
    April 6, 2007

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    this is definately a touching piece. and the butterfly is so beautiful! great write!!
    ..so wonderful..


  • storiesuntold gold member
    April 6, 2007
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    I just had to come back and say bravo on this one again


  • storiesuntold gold member
    April 6, 2007
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    superb

    I never thought of a butterfly as haveing lips but if they do you truly did it right

    • cutiepie gold member
      April 7, 2007
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      What a nice thing to say In my book, butterflies must have lips as they kiss a babies eyes when it's born ..(Maybe an old bit of Irish folk lore, but I believe it


  • Freestyle Bushido
    April 6, 2007

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    WOW This is pretty deep and beautiful. I love the question asked in the piece. It really makes the reader wonder what the correct answer is.

    • cutiepie gold member
      April 7, 2007
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      there should always be a question...otherwise its just a statement Glad you enjoyed it, many thanks for your kindness


  • Cannonsfire
    April 6, 2007
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    So whimsical and beautifully done, like a soft autumn breeze just passing by. Love, C


    • cutiepie gold member
      April 7, 2007
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      Thank you "C" for your kind words, as always, very much appreciated


  • wattle silver member
    April 6, 2007

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    Again Ms Cutie you are all questions about spring. Lady said you should run naked around the garden twice at the start of spring. It's helps you live, she said. --- Thank you.

    • cutiepie gold member
      April 6, 2007
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      Lol...naked! I don't think so ; You tell that Lady from me that I think she should wash her mouth out with soap just jesting ...big hug for lady

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