I am evil in my pureness
Envied and yet jealous
Humble in my pride
I am the victim as I attack
Accepted and rejected
Guilty for my innocence
I am beauty in my beast
A saint with sin
Open yet mysterious
I am assertive with kindness
Loud with my silence
Cowardly in my courage
I am surviving to be buried
Conforming to individuality
Imprisoned by my freedom
I am hated in my love
Unique in my norm
Content in needing
I am greedy in my generosity
Hurtful to heal
Hopeful in my despair
I am surrounded to feel alone
Healthy in illness
Light in darkness
I am interested in my indifference
Sweet in my bitterness
Shy in my confidence
I am lost in my home
Terrestrial in my skin
Human to the bone
Author notes
Inspired by Paulho Coelho, and my thoughts on how I act totally different to how I actually feel, gotta work on that.
A contest entry
- no options- no way out: APRIL by duke of balabamas.
1560 points, ended May 16, 2007, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Sorry about that Helen!
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Wow, I can completely relate to this. I constantly go back and forth on things, never sticking to my beliefs, and not even sure what I believe sometimes. You expressed this clearly and I really loved these lines especially:
Shy in my confidence
Content in needing
Loud with my silence
A saint with sin
and my favorite:
I am beauty in my beast
I have such a hard time sticking to things and find myself dealing with hypocrisy more often than I'd prefer. This is very well written and I felt like you were talking about me at times, somethings just too close. I don't have a lot of steadfast beliefs in things, but if I did choose one, it would be that I think some people are really fucking stupid. And Im glad I read this one, which ensured that belief, because there's one right below me.
-Ryan
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Thank you Ryan, if I could hand you a cigar I would!!!
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This poem is really cliche and repetative. It went on for way too long. If your vocab was more colorful, your structure more intriguing, and your subject more specific, it may have been good. But it wasn't.
Better luck next time. -
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Oh! What a delight to stumble across a comment dripping with constructive criticism written, quite obviously, by such a positive, and oh so very perfect person. Oops, there I go making silly little jokes again. Oh dear. Just who do you think you are to be leaving such a rude, thoughtless, and very wretched comment? Hmm? You come off as such a pretentious snob. I would like to share something with you relating to comments. Poetry is an expression of individual creativity. I would ask that if you read a piece that does not appeal to your "personal preferences", move on quietly. Leaving a negative remark, based on how you personally believe a topic doesn't appeal to you or how you would have written it "your" way...is not a true critique. Open your minds to the possibility of Individuality, you'll find it will certainly breath life into your reading as well as writing. Poetry is based on anything and everything that touches us, don't suck the life out of others work and respect the creativity their spirit carried to write it. I would highly suggest you keep that in mind as your comment is so very far from being helpful, it was rude and uncalled for. You really should be quite ashamed of yourself. As far as cliches go, um, helllooooo, this whole site is dripping with them, for christ's sake, and I am sure that if I were to stumble across your poetry, I would find some cliches lingering around as well. Poetry and cliches are nearly synonymous. Your opinion is just utter nonsense as is your whole comment in general but, alas, I've come not to expect much more than that from todays youth. How very disappointing.
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Love, she is a pretentious snob. And we love her for it, it's what makes her so good at critiquing poems. Honestly, if you can't take a comment that you don't like, don't post your poetry.
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So pleased to know that you have such a fine and loving friendship with your pretnetious snob. Bravo and good for you. It wasn't a matter of not liking the comment, it was the delivery of the comment. Didn't your mommies tell you, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all? Shame on them and shame on you. Learn some manners.
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Princess
Firstly I dont mind criticism, but I do mind criticism that is just pure nastiness with no substance just to impress people as to how "nasty" she can be, it's like being Simon Cowell wannabe, if you criticism on a poem it should still be done in a nice manner, I respect you for standing up for your friend but at the end of the day a bitch is a bitch and that she is!
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Wow, I love how MATURE you guys are. If I'm so awful, ignore my comments. After all, I'm only a 15 year old girl from Philly. My opinion counts for nothing unless you make it that way, which you are. It was a short, disgruntled comment; get over yourselves. Not everything revolves around you, and I'm not going to sugar-coat what I feel. If you're offended, GROW UP.
Individuality? Yeah, 'cause another "OMG, this poem is sooooo deep" is so not overdone. I pointed out three legitimate problems with the poem.
Sometimes there's truth in unkind words. -
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It is one thing to deliver the truth with kindness, you whiny little brat, and another to be plainly rude. You, sweetheart, are very rude. I would also like to mention that just as you have the right to share your opinion, I have the right to share mine. A far cry from immature. But, I cannot expect one so young to understand that. I wish you well.
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I love the fact that a 15 year old is trying to imply that I'm immature, had you given me constructive criticism I would've thanked you, instead you are a sour little bitchy cow, sorry if that vocabulary comes across as simple minded to you but you come across as simple minded to me. You have a chip on your shoulder which is completely unfounded, your own poetry is crap and you have the audacity to give unhelpful nasty comments not only on my poem but on other poets poems too. Sweetheart you are a child and unfortunately you have some intelligence and believe that you are something special, which perhaps you are but if you're not likable then you are nothing and at the moment you are really not likable.
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For the simple reason I didnt realise that I PM'd the last one!
Heeheehee, you made me laugh.. better luck next time??? I'm sorry.. was this entered into a contest of yours that I know nothing about? My subject more specific.. how much clearer could it have been that it was about me? Cliche.. perhaps but I just read a line from one of your poems about an Irish girl with emerald eyes (holy shit.. Imagine that!!!), so dont come and throw the word cliche at me when you live right next door to it too. I must say I dont mind criticism when it's helpful and good, but your's wasnt.
Thanks for the comment though!!!
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Incredible
I loved this poem....it's so real and well-written...all the contradictions and paradoxes are just wonderful! I also enjoy Paulo Coelho -
wow this poem is so deep. i love it it's a classic controversy. nice job on this one there's a lot of emotion in it and it's very good. keep on writing
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Thought provoking or what!
I read this poem over and over. This is one inspiring poem. A poem that speaks both to and of us all. It sucks us in and draws our attention to who we are: we are every line. Brilliant!
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Thank you for such kind words!!!
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i didnt think id like it, but as i read, it grew on me.
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This was well written it pulls the reader along with the words that it portrays. Good job I really like this. Good luck with the contest.
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utterly amazing
i tryed to potray words like these last night but it didnt ture out too well, it was sort of random and crappy, these are very real and rraw emotions and you words and lines flow. most beautiful.
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wow this is really good work and i thought this was a very good write also i thought this was so deep and powerful and can feel the effort put into this piece well done
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I am lost in my home
Terrestrial in my skin
Human to the bone..
Humm truely you have made me to think and I have a feeling that there are so many ways of writing of poetry .For example where the words shine to be
expressed… where the metaphors dance. .where the magic of the concept is seen and sometimes where you find each thing not only found equally proportioned in the quantity but as well more than the quantity is found and this is here Indeed a very deep and a great poetry is here with a philosophy of life ...... .
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I enjoyed reading this
so many of these contradictions are so true and really getting me to think. Well done -
Definetely we are a curiosty as humans. We ebb and flow with the breaths of life. The contradictions in terms of with who and what we are. This was fantastic and definetely spoke of us as a whole in our sometimes ridiculous effort to be perfect and the knowledge that we never will..
~A Heart's Hope Lies With Belladonna~ -
life is full of contradictions. When are able to align those contradictions within ourself is when we truly discover who we are~ Our AUTHENTIC self. We are given many oppurtunities (none any less important than the other) to make these discovries and forge our personal alignment. In our awakening we become aware and conscious and the the process begins! great poem!! Thanks for sharing. keep up this awesome work. peace and light always in all ways, kp
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I am evil in my pureness
Envied and yet jealous
Humble in my pride
I am the victim as I attack
Accepted and rejected
Guilty for my innocence
I am beauty in my beast
A saint with sin
such contradictions...truly a complex creature...revel in you uniqueness...love this write -
really a different type of write. I love how you expressed the way you feel opposed to the way you act. this is a really nice job. Kind of unique.
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please
i hope you find yourself..we search for somewhere to belong
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