Words fall short of these simple agonies
striding triumphant through the marrow of our bones;
leaving us trembling,
breathless and begging
for a sonnet to tell the world why
for as long as Apollo rides his chariot across the sky
I will love you from now until forever.
I wish that I could write passionate sestinas,
heart-breaking ballads or droplets of haiku
about love and loss
and the wild lash of emotion
that can drive a woman to madness...
...but when these feelings are meant only to be felt
these words, my words, any words fall short.
Author notes
Dedicated to my muse who taught me that to write good poetry, you have to live good poetry first.
Apollo (Greek reference)- Helius/Hyperion was the Titan sun god, who gave Apollo his task of driving the four-horse sun chariot through the sky during the day. Hence the explanation of unfaltering sunset and sunrise.
This poem is actually a first-off 5 minute write but it felt so very true so I've kept it as it is. As poets, we can describe emotions until our fingers bleed and our pencils are worn... but no beautiful words will ever compare to actually experiencing them.
Last 3 words are the same as the opening 3, as per contest reqirements.
A contest entry
- Masterpiece from my favorites by Virgoan.
435 points, ended April 11, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I like this poem. You are very talented at writing. My favorite part is the second stanza. You've done a great job
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Goodness, the madness and impossibility of freeing what's wedged between soul and tongue... all captured here in this piece. You're right; sometimes the best thing to do is merely FEEL the feelings, but Poetry is a selfish bastard and always wants in on it. Ugh.
Perfectly depicted.
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This is a splendid poem and well deserving of the gold trophy - congratulations!
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"Words fall short of these simple agonies
striding triumphant through the marrow of our bones;
leaving us trembling,
breathless and begging"
Sighhh...This is a wonderful penning, Faded...soul~stirring words, indeed...I've been writing the majority of my life, but there are precious moments when NO words will suffice to describe the depths & intensity of emotion...An elegant, eloquent piece...Congratulations on a well~earned golden chalice...Your muse is very wise...Be well, Poet... Wanda
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Words fall short...I agree
A defined and characterized masterpiece. Unbelievable that 300 seconds was able to convey such thoughts and words.
The flow of the words didn't fall short for it was able to give a non-stereotypical grandeur about love.
These lines are magnificent:
I wish that I could write passionate sestinas,
heart-breaking ballads or droplets of haiku
about love and loss
and the wild lash of emotion
that can drive a woman to madness...
The dedication in the words aforementioned overflows with emotion knowing that you "wish" in an "if" possiblity.
Needless to say, a well deserve poem more than the applause that I can give.
Thank you for entering and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing.
~VIRGOAN~
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well, maybe words do fall short, but it seems to me that you have expressed yourself very well, nevertheless
good luck! -
I adore how you have shown your love for your muse. The second stanza is my favourite, as it shows the yearning that sometimes seems so overwhelming. Enjoyed, and can certainly relate! Well done!
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Oh, wow. Very, very powerful. You've managed to talk about love without sounding clichéd, which is an amazing feat in and of itself. I can just feel the desperation and emotion oozing out of this.
I'm normally not a fan of couplets inserted into a non-rhyming poem (lines 4 and 5, 6 and 7), but it really works here for some reason. Probably because it lends such great emphasis on the breaking-line, line 8.
Your description of the poetic forms, especially 'droplets of haiku', really adds to the imagery. I've never seen a haiku described so amazingly.
I think the only line I would change would be line 7. It could be a little more potent, I think. '...careens across the sky', or something emotional like that.
Amazing poem you've got here, especially for a five minute write. I look forward to reading more of your works.
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