he turned his head thinking of death
his red eyes glowed with deathly despair
soft feelings rolling down his cheeks
the knife in his hand shined brightly with delight
blood drips off the child’s cold lips
broken feeling in his heart
quickly stabbed and ripped apart
she turned her head thinking of sin
her blue eyes glowed with sinful sorrow
curled tragedy rolling down her skin
the razor in her hand vibrant with the devils delight
sweat drips off the childs cold body
breaking feeling in her soul
quickly burned her like a coal
he and she woke up early that very day
dazed and tired thinking out loud to each other
thank god, it was only a dream
Author notes
Option #5:
...hehe
R.D. Wells
A contest entry
- Hey!!!!!! I Love Options Contests so here goes another one! (Prewrites Welcome) by Patience15.
525 points, ended April 20, 2007, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How Are You Feeling? ((PRE-WRITES ALLOWED!)) by A Murderous Lament.
390 points, ended April 28, 2007, 167 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagination by burdened.
600 points, ended April 30, 2007, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This was an interesting piece, and dark. I like it, but it was beautifully penned, and sad. Thanks for sharing this lovely piece, I could feel emotions running throught the piece, I couldn't tell you exactly what they were, but they are there. Take care XxX
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Me likey
Dark.Like.Chocolate.Mmmmm..I like chocolate. =]
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horaay chocolate!
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yea thank god that was only a dream that was like an intense book!
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tyvm
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WOah!
that was some serious dark stuff man. It was, uh, like a murder of a kid or a suicide or what?
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the couple are mainly dreaming of each killing a kid...
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Hmm...
I'm not quite sure if you meant to capitalize "Child" but I think it kind of works. What would happen if you did the same for "Devil's?" Or maybe capitalizing all the "child's" in your poem? Or none at all?
Overall, I like the physical setting of the poem. I didn't really expect that when I first clicked the link. Awesome job at that. What an odd dream, though I can't lie and say that I haven't had one as dark as this one. Reminds me of a song. Good juob and good luck -
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tyvm for the comment on the child thing i fixed it...lol
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