Light faded behind me; I found myself in darkness.
My hand and feet were chained to the wall.
The iron gate creaked shut and I awaited my fate.
Dark, damp and cold
The stench of death
Chills me; haunts me
I wait. I wait. I wait my fate.
In the darkness, I was left alone in my thoughts,
Nothing to do but relive why I was here and what waited for me.
I had killed and now I awaited to die; to be crucified.
My punishment was just by Roman law, but I was angered.
Rage was my quest.
Rage against the oppressors
Rage against slavery
Rage against Rome
We were rising up against our oppressors.
I was glad to have killed one of them.
To my people, I should have been a hero.
Now I was a murderer condemned to die.
Condemned by my oppressors
Waiting to die by my enemies hand
Murderer! Guilty! Death!
Echoed in my mind
I could see the face of the man I killed.
He was just a man like me, strong and committed to his cause.
He was the enemy but still only a man.
I could see his terror and agony as he died.
Terror and agony
Now were mine
Waiting Waiting
The same fate
I should have felt great satisfaction in his death.
I had killed an enemy, an oppressor of my people.
Yet, I could not forget his face, the face of just a man.
I felt fear and guilt over the event for which I was condemned.
The face of man
A man about to die
My face; His face
The same; The same.
I waited in fear and anger for my time to come.
When they called, my name, “Barabbas” my heart stopped.
They unlocked me from the wall and led me up the stairs.
My eyes could not see; the light of day binded me.
I can not see.
What awaits me
Where am I going?
Where am I being taken?
I could hear my judge yell, “Whom shall I release to you?
Jesus called the King or Barabbas the notorious murderer?”
I heard my name yelled out by a crowd of voices.
I could not believe my ears. Release me? Was it possible?
Release me? Release me?
Do my ears deceive me?
Is that my name they shout?
Did I hear my name called?
“Again I ask Whom shall I release to you?
Ah, I knew it was too good to be true. Surely I heard the wrong name.
But then, I heard it again., “Barabbas!” a crowd of voices yelled louder.
“What shall I then do with Jesus your king?”
“Crucify him! Crucify him!”
Crucify him? Crucify him? That was my fate.
My fate. My condemnation. What was happening?
Then I felt my chains released and my eyes opened.
I saw him, beaten and bloodied. Could this even be a man?
“Crucify him! Crucify him!”
I walked away free. I could not believe it. I was free.
I looked back and saw him being lead away.
“Crucify him? Crucify him?” That was my fate.
Those words haunt me still knowing I live because he died.
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