Straight Forward Answers

Gazing.
Silent.
Waiting.

For some kind of response.
A nodd, a smile, a tear.
Something to tell me;
I'm not wasting my time.
It's been a while;
And yet I have no answers.
You avoid certain questions;
And move on to a differnt topic.
What am I supposed to think?
Are you honest?
Or are you just trying
To keep me on the edge?
Toying with me isn't fun;
Maybe for you;
But you always did like
To dance around a little bit.
A heartbreak from you;
Would probably feel like
Ten thousands needles;
Stabbing me in the chest;
The smiles cracked; broken; and gone.
The laughter fading into soft cries;
All because of you toying with me.
I don't need your lullabies to comfort me anymore;
You don't give me straight forward answers;
As if; I had never been exposed
Or experienced any such feelings before.
My life revolved around it;
Such as the time you left me all alone;
I need to know;
And leaving me here waiting;
Waiting to step on your "Go"
Waiting to move when you say to;
My life is kinda hanging here;
Because I dont have straight forwar answers.

I'm fifteen. Not ten.
And even in the ten years;
I was more mature then anyone;
Because you forced me to be.
Making me live with him.
Fortunately enough;
You got smart;
Even ifyou did send me away;
And disapear off the face of the earth;
I had a feeling someday something positive would happen.

And I'm getting that sick feeling;
You're lying to me again.
I'm getting that feeling;
That you're not gonna call again;
That you're not gonna send me a letter;
And email; a card; pictures. Anything.

I have the feeling:
I just need to let go of this;
And stop putting my life on hold for you.
I've been doing it to long;
And when you feel you're adult enough
To treat me like the young women I came to be;
Then talk to me;
And give me the straight forward answers I need.