When you walk away from me
It hurts so bad why can’t you see
Without a hug Without a kiss
We can’t continue to live like this
My heart is breaking
My smile I’m faking
Happiness is not my friend
I wish this all this pain would just end
But I put a smile on
And I walk way
I break the bond
And Wish you’d stay
I talk to my friends
Like nothings wrong
But are promise it bends
Its no longer strong
So I say good bye to you
See you in hell
Bye-bye boo
Author notes
butter-cup-babii
Smile inspiration word
Topic word fears
A contest entry
- The Profound Rounds... Part IV by Kevan.
365 points, ended April 7, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - that don't impress me much by j-ay rose.
600 points, ended April 9, 2008, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - let's be fake by Annexed Josephine.
800 points, ended April 10, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
HOLLA
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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thank you for your entry.
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alright. i can see this is you being an actress/actor i'm not sure. it's dramatic and surfaced. so cool. thanks for entering.
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all I have to say about this is wow.. just like all your other poems.
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Originality/Creativity - 8/10 Good work with the cobination.
Imagery/message - 8/10 I saw what I was reading.
Style/Form - 8/10 you were pretty good when it came to form.
Rule following - 5/5 All rules were followed.
Use of Rhyme (If poem does rhyme) - 4/5 It was good but there was something off with
"Happiness is not my friend
I wish this all this pain would just end"
Suggestion: Take out one of the 'this'
Other (Will specify) - 10/10 You really astounded me with this piece. It's better then your usual ones from what I think.
Total - 43/50
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That's awesome! I love it! Vwd! Too bad it's the same title as mine I guess I stole it, because yours was first.
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