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Tall Spruce Trees

One chilled night we stood there,
Blanketed in moonlit shadows
Our only companions, tall spruce trees
Watching us from above.
As our arms envelope each other
I taste the irresistible sweetness of your lips
It was wrong, but felt so... right
then having to part,
only so we would not be caught,
so we could meet again when it will be Right
Both walking backwards facing  each other
not wanting to let the other out of sight.
only to see them engulfed in the shadows,
Of tall spruce tree's.


Author notes

the first half is of the poem still... many have asked me to continue the story from the first half , and i saw this as a good time to do so i hope you all enjoy.


option 1

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • Bob 42 silver member
    May 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Well done

    Worthy of publication, though I have to agree with those who feel it`s unfinished. Perhaps another verse that is gender indicative. LOL


    • boy-poet
      May 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Why make it gender indicative when by not doing so it can be related to by so many more people besides It is girl if thats what your wondering


  • Logans-Mommy
    May 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is very well done i must say, its sweet.


  • Dusty
    April 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a sweet dark poems thank you for entering
    El
    x x x


  • BloodCrusted
    April 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very sweet.
    Nice Romeo and Juliet story. I like that kind of poetry. The sweet love, as you will do anything to see the person you are truly happy with. No matter what.

    I think this is nicely done!
    Thank you for the entry, and good luck in the contest!

    -System of Cyanide


  • ddollfacek
    April 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Um, there are a lot of spelling mistakes and gramatical errors. Or capitalization stuff.
    Mmm. Interesting poem though. Going to want to change the errors though.


  • TWiSTEDxCUPCAKE
    April 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is so great!! I love this! It is so beautiful and...I don't know, just amazing. This poem is short, but is the perfect length for this poem. I love that you stuck to the main idea, that you are meeting someone late at night in a forest of tall spruce trees. I loved this poem.
    Keep Writing
    ~~Meri~


  • redmarkonthewall
    April 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Not Bad

    There are a few spelling errors in it, but it is still readable,perhaps you may want to fix them. It's pretty good but not quite hitting theright chords for me you know? Either way thanks for entering and good luck!


  • Stickboy gold member
    April 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    great write, i loved reading this thanks for sharing and entering this contest


  • JessTheRentyMess
    April 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    very good.

    this didnt move me nearly as much as i wanted but. it still is pretty good. i didnt see any spelling or grammer mistakes. very good. keep writing and keep improving..you can go far.

    Jess


  • Crazy-Baby
    April 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is a really deep piece of work, and still sweet at the same time, it was very well written, thanx for entering x x x


  • Kari gold member
    April 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    hmm this was very deep and good. Thank you for your entry and the best of luck to you in the contest.
    Kari


  • xmuffinxfacex
    April 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very well written!
    it was quite amazing,I could picture it all happening in my mind,and I liked it :]


  • Tyla-Tragedy
    April 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love it.
    I enjoyed it muchly.
    Lucky girl.j


  • trixey
    April 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    awwww... thats so sweet. like forbidden love. romanti

  • marrow
    April 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    thanks for sending the link, man. i definitely like this one better. you did a very nice job.
    j

1 - 16 of 16