[Always] fucking drunk \legs open/ ass on the floor
Wearing the 'same' pants that she did the =night* before
Strutting the streets in /ripped/ pantyhose
Snorting fake happiness up her just.as.fake nose
Selling it to survive - a regular corner w.h.o.r.e
Whispers s/w/e/e/t/l/y "Fuck me to the [core.]"
Well known for being a ^high^ class *tease*
&& also for carrying some ^high^ class {Disease}
Wearing an (obvious) White shirt on |black|lace|
A |glimmer|of|glitter| down her chest {she's fallen from *grace*}
Torn fishnets leave /nothing/ to thoughts of her porcelain thighs
[No] sense of humanity remains in her [eyes.]
Author notes
ThePinkMonster.
x
A contest entry
- Oh Sweetie; You're so [D-I-R-T-Y] pretty. by Candy Morphine.
550 points, ended January 23, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Filthy Beautiful by VoltaicHypnosis.
600 points, ended November 12, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Anything.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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What a crude and unique piece. I love the rhyme, but the dirty pretty leaves a little to be desired. Personally it is a little too together for my liking - my dirty pretty pieces are usually scattered in what I hope is an artful pattern down the page; splashed like the paint it is intended to be. Also, not all of your breakages of a word are relevant to the word.
The critique having been outlined, however, I find this piece refreshingly brutal and certainly not an item to be overlooked. Well done and best of luck in this contest.
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see i disagree with the last comment. i thought it was very unique in a genre that's very cliched. the structure was great and the rhyming sounded, in no way forced. welcome to the finalists list. well done, i loved it=]
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thanks doll
im glad you liked it so much.
aimee x
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Okay, a bit cliche. I've seen the word "porcelain" about a million times before... It's getting kinda old. This poem was okay. It was good, but it didn't really catch my attention in any of the parts. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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Good stuff.Really dark and seedy.Almost like an early Martin Scorecesse film.Keep'm comin'.
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thats reallly goood the ryhming dosnt seeem forced it sweeeet dal xxxxxxxx
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this is creativity and ver interesting, i think you did a great job on this, i was a little barbie creepy, lol, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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Ah interesting.
I'm not a big fan on rhyming though.
I really like "Snorting fake happiness"
♥
Thanks for entering!
~Princess of SHadows~ -
Wow. I loved this babe, it was just wow, incredibly hot stuff.
you made the whole atmosphere, seedy and dirty, I think you really got across the dirty whore theme in this one, utterly gorgeouss.
all the best in the contest, not that you even need it
<33
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