It doesn't hurt when I unzip this skin
i am too use to the pain
i am a different person deep within
at home im what she wants me to be
but away from her i am only me
It doesn't hurt when I unzip this skin
because there is so much that im holding in
i am one person, but yet i am two
ive had so many experiences
what am i to do?
It doesn't hurt when I unzip this skin....
for the pain i can handle
i do not know where it starts
and where it ends
so now where do i begin?
It doesn't hurt when I unzip this skin
for i am a different person within
Author notes
2. Use the line "It doesn't hurt when I unzip this skin" as a metaphore. Take it to represent whatever you like
*Denika*
A contest entry
- Metaphorical beauty 5 options by bigXfatXemo.
525 points, ended April 12, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Hey this is awesome, spectacular, But I wonder, What happens when there is so much you can't "unzip" the skin, what if the skin actually bursts? you know what I mean what if you do something where the skin can't be "zipped" back up? What if just a simple unzip actually lets it all out, it will end all, leaving the world behind. Finally easeing the pain the parades this world. Feeding on the innocence of everyone. This is a great piece too.
Jordan Lee
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I really like this poem, you express so much and it's words and contents are strong. You did a great job with it. the imagery is even intense. You don't really see anything yet you get an image in your mind. Thats a good touch and I like it. Keep up the great work!
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oo.. you used the contest line so well!! i loved that line but couldn't personally think how to work with it. well done and good luck. this is a sad write but it is very good.
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Thankyou!
Firstly thankyou for choosing option 2, it's great that you really stuck to the contest and used that line so well. It's so refreshing to comment somethng that isn't a prewrite too!
And a brilliant conveyance of emorions here, I love it! I'm sorry it's such a sad read, but its really beautifully portrayed. Agreeing with Bear, reminded me of Bi-Polar, and can relate to the mask hiding someone differnt inside. Fantastic insight, just a really good write =]
Bravo, and good luck!
Frankie xXx
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reminds me of being bi-polar. The pain isn't physical but still we are like two people in one body..or maybe just hiding the real us that is inside.
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im hiding the person that i really am on the inside.... my family would disown me but i know that they are going to find out sometime... ahwell...
*denika*
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