Life gets hard
and it feels like nothing can get me off the ground
I breakdown when no one's around
It makes me wonder
Why can't my life be as simple as the forest?
Why can't my life be as calm as the sea?
I know there has to be a storm sometime
but why does it always start in me?
Time goes on and on again
I'm falling into its tide
If all time really does repeat itself
then why are we suprised
When tragedy stikes our hearts we grieve
but time sweeps it away
When love touches us once and once again
yet we call it blind[it finds us easily]
The blowing wind
dries the tears i cry
and the warmth of the sun
shines light into my world
So i'll keep fighting for my life
So then one day
My life can be as simple as the forest
and as calm as the sea
I won't even mind the storm
because i can control whats inside of me
Author notes
Option E
A contest entry
- April New Member's Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended May 6, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Do you know the muffin man??? by Dreams27.
450 points, ended July 1, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prove Yourself to Me (updated rules) by Taxing Minds.
900 points, ended July 27, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling all: (roll the dice and) nature/storm/rain lovers!!! by IndividualEleven.
700 points, ended July 28, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Looking For Ap Family by TheLostGirl.
525 points, ended October 23, 2007, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - meh by Anonymous Shadow.
300 points, ended January 24, 2008, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cheer Up a Depressed Girl by Oleander.
630 points, ended December 14, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold Trophy denied!...... by whispernthedark.
780 points, ended January 22, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn that silver into gold pt 5 by whispernthedark.
300 points, ended March 6, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Great write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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I like this I love the fact that its about self control and not letting the bad over power you. I really like this....oh dont forget to put what part of my ap family you want to be good job on this thanks for the entry
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Very good, philosophical and great imagery, nice write indeed, what i enjoyed the most was the ending, your metaphor to the storm and whats inside was great, very powerful, thanks for entering -Jacen.
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Great write and thanks for the entry.
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a very good piece here. I like this a lot. thought provokign and well written.
thank you for entering.
take care, Sam (Dreams27) xxx -
i can really relate to almost all of this piece
it almost describes my look on life i really enjoyed this one
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A thought-provoking piece.. for me. I like the overall feeling of this. your words..thoughts flow together very nicely. A unique and wonderful write. Thank you for entering the contest, best of luck.
welcome to allpoetry
~Kristy -
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Thanks
i try ^_^ thanks for the support and your comment
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Welcome to AP
Oh I REALLY like this! I think it's because I can so totally relate to it! A most awesome write this is! Thank you for sharing; I wish you all the best in the contest -
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Thanks
I really appreciate your comment and support. ^_^
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Welcome to AP
"I know there has to be a storm sometime
but why does it always start in me?" i really relate to that line especially. best of luck.
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thanks for the comments. I fixes my oopsies so i hope it looks better. ^_^
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WELCOME TO ALLPOETRY!
I loved this piece. You had such lovely metaphors and I did enjoy the struggle I felt in this piece. Thank you for your entry and I wish you luck.
Despair
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Thank You!!
I really appreciate your comment. I was thinking of making this poem into a song. Well anyway thanks. ^_^
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Thank you for entering
I enjoyed how you bought nature into your poem; there is so much one can relate to and utilise when writing from any one particular idea for a theme. You have used this to the best advantage in your poem. You have chosen an apt title for this particular piece, it's the simplicity that makes it a gem
Thank you for entering and best wishes for the contest.
~Katie~
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A perfect example of exhaustive metaphors! I'm impressed that not one line did without the elements.
Good for you! Lovely language overall as well.
*Suggestions*
If this were mine, I'd polish it and bring the
whole poem into one form, or at least get the iambs
more even. It appears to begin in a statement,
and then it changes into a rhymed scheme. However,
the third stanza changes again. This mix of forms
can keep the reader from moving on.
A tweaking will bring this to the level that you intended.
Also, take advantage of the spellcheck as there is
an oopsie misspell.
If you'd like a Level 2 critique, please let me know.
As for the criteria, once again, a PRIME example. Thank you and welcome to the site!
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Thank You!!
thanks for the comment. I really appreciate your help. I think i'll leave this one the way it is(except for the spelling, i fixed that) Thank You! ^_^
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