Living In This World Has Gotten Complicated,
Only Learning Lessons Through Pain,
[Did You Feel It's Sting Yet?]
Why Does It Take A Tradegy,
For A Lesson To Be Learnt
[Its The Same One Over And Over Again]
They Say Actions Speak Louder Than Words
[What Do We Have To Do To Be Heard?]
We May Have Freedom,
But Why Are People Still Bleeding?
[I Have Your Blood On My Clothes]
False Lovers Are Living Lies,
Laying Awake At Night,
[Is Being Alone That Bad?
Is Living A Lie Such A Painful Sting?
We Have A Choice,
Cages Or Wings,
Living Our Life,
Or Being Caged Until A Certain Death,
[Lets Take Our Wings And Fly Away]
How Much Of A Disaster Will It Take,
To Awake A Generation,
That Think Nothing's Wrong
[Where'd The Lies Come From]
Why Play With Fire When You Know Its Going To Burn You,
[Into Ashes And Destroyed]
Why Make Our Own Path,
When The Safe Trail Is There,
[What Lies Are Polutting Your Mind?]
Our World's Changing For The Worst,
Take Some Action,
[It Will Drown Out All The Words]
So Stop Dying To Be Heard
What Will It Take To Make You See?
The Disaster Next To You And Me,
[Open Your Eyes]
Author notes
Real Life, Tick Tick Boom. Enjoy
A contest entry
- What Can You Do With These Words? by Starcrossed Dreamer.
525 points, ended April 27, 2007, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For those with four or less by Lactar Wolfgang.
375 points, ended April 9, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To You... My Love by pimp daddy satin.
303 points, ended April 21, 2007, 110 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Amaze Me by Crazy-Dan.
450 points, ended October 15, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell Me What You Think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Goodish
paragraph 3, line 3 you forgot a "]", ;p i miss that catchiness and rhyming you use to have, see what happens when i get off for a while and leave u alone. ;P
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I really liked this piece, it's so amazing.
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This made me think alot, and impressed me a bit, but you gots some very stiff compition, if you entered this at the begining you would've had a great chance of winning, but as is, i'm sorry it just too little too late
srry, but an excellet piece reguardless -
I'm not done yet but i'm just saying a quick note. I like the side notes between the poetry, very clever
Ok, after reading it, I ended up not liking them so much after all, its just that the first few were well thought out and it got tiring how they just repeated far too often.
But anyways...
This showed very well that we're blind to our own stupidity. And that we need to do something before it was too late.
Its harder to Amaze me than that, sorry. -
amazing
it seems that you and I have a very similar view of society. this poem is a true testament to the pure idiocy that most of the public posesses. a person isnt a person unless they act on their own free will, not one who just follows blindly to the stereotypes that MTV and all those other TV channels and magazines throw at the youth of america. its a true shame that life as we know it has struck such a major decline. you have voiced that wonderfully. an amazing write. never stop writing.
Rob -
:D
wow, this is very good... I love the emotion you put in this! They Say Actions Speak Louder Than Words
[What Do We Have To Do To Be Heard?]
We May Have Freedom,
But Why Are People Still Bleeding?
[I Have Your Blood On My Clothes]
that's the best part... and yeah, actions do speak louder than words... (Trust me... they do! lol.) good job! keep it up! and keep holding on!!!!
Crimson -
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thanks hun<3 and i will
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WONDERFULLY WRITTEN!
One goes through life striving to survive, sometimes not daring to reach out and make a change. They just keep suffering from all the bad they face, if they only would stop waiting until it happens but reach out and make a difference before it does maybe things will change and become easier.
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Such a perfect write. So true! It's written very well.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and God Bless
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except for the first stanza and second to the last stanza's spelling.. i liked how you interpreted the song and made it your own. it was creative and thoughtful, because the poem becomes your own art and you own it, since it's from your point of view. great work. good luck in the contest.
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Oh!
Fantastic write hun, I loved the imagery of broken wings espeically, I've used these before in my poetry too. Keep it up, this is really something special =]
xXx
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OUchie! raw painful powerful piece well done with only a few technical oopsies. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *
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oh mah goodness!
this was amazing. and i know everyone says that but this time i really mean it. it really speaks to society.
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YES I AGREE WITH YOUR AUTHOR'S NOTES COMMENT. DEFINITELY A REAL LIFE TICK TICK BOOM. A VERY GRIPPING STORY OF DOOM. "What will it take to make you see." LIES, DISASTERS, THE SHEDING OF BLOOD, SO MUCH FOR US TO SEE ALL AROUND US. BUT WE SEEM TO CLOSE OUR EYES, MAYBE WE ARE SCARED, MAYBE WE JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, WHERE DO WE START ?
VERY GOOD JOB OF BRING THIS TO THE ATTENTION OF OTHERS. THIS POEM MADE ME THINK DEEPLY.
GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST
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i love this poem... you put alot into it
great job...
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thanks so much!!<3
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I read and reread this poem. A few things stand out to me the flow was nice the message was powerful. I love th emotion you put in this poem.
They Say Actions Speak Louder Than Words
[What Do We Have To Do To Be Heard?]
We May Have Freedom,
But Why Are People Still Bleeding?
[I Have Your Blood On My Clothes]
This was my fav stanza I have my own reasons but chilling imagrey -
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thanks for your comment and i'd have to say that is my favorite stanza as well, my close friends as well, again thanks<3
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hre you go
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thanks!!!!<3
~Ashley~
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Actually i gotta say it's incredible, so keep up the good work
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Reality is it truly a fallacy?
How much deciet has manking brought to bear on the unseeing eyes of those who would want to believe but simply cannot see the truth for what it is.
If towers falling are not enough of a wakeup call perhaps one day a toxic mushroom cloud will reside over everyone's head and it will be just the same ending instead.
Great little poem.
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This is awsome and so true. What will it take to to open others' eyes to the shit around us(please excuse my colorful language). This is an awsome poem. Great write.
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very good, and eye opening. you're right, people should start taking action instead of sitting back and acting like everything's alright.
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Kick ass poem!!!!!
That was a kick ass poem. I loved the way you put it together, such effortlessness.
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thanks so much! appriciate your comment!!<3
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great
Nice job. im looking forward to read more of you stuff
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Wonderful job. You took the words that I gave you and made them mean something to you. Excellent work, and thank you for entering!
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This is a great poem you wrote dear poet well done
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