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bleeding rose

Missing image

bleeding rose

her beauty flourished watching her grow
but time has taken it’s toll
dead silence grows for the bleeding rose
yet a piece of her is left in my soul

a symbol of love that I should know
bleeding rose is just a blur
for the bleeding rose, dead silence grows
left in my soul is a piece of her

symbol of love where petals aglow
so time has passed as a blink
dead silence grows for the bleeding rose
gone is the rose as it makes me think


the sight of the rose breeds thoughts of you
knowing your soul is now dead
for the bleeding rose, dead silence grows
now you're gone as the rose was once red

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

ZaniLa Rhyme
The ZaniLa Rhyme, a form created by Laura Lamarca, consists 4 lines per stanza.
The rhyme scheme for this form is abcb and a syllable count of 9/7/9/9 per stanza.
Line 3 contains internal rhyme and is repeated in each odd numbered stanza.
Even stanzas contain the same line but swapped. The ZaniLa Rhyme has a minimum of 3 stanzas and no maximum poem length.

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Swan song gold member
    November 28, 2008

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    This is a very poetric way of telling an extremely sad story. The beauty is you left the ends loose enough to allow the reader to kind of add their own story, while not making it so vague you loose the reader that takes talent and work


  • jo-el
    October 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very nice. you did great justice to this form. my favorite stanzas are the 2nd and 4th. its amazing what an image will bring to mind. for each mind it varies. but for the mind of the true poet...there will always be a complex drama. and how we share it with the world is what makes it all the more interesting. thanks for sharing


  • BeautifulSecret
    August 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Hauntingly Beautiful

    What a beautiful piece, it's almost as if tears have sprung to my eyes. So hauntingly beautiful. I am enjoying your work very much.


  • Laura
    April 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is excellent well done xx
    laura xxxxx


  • JohnnyD gold member
    April 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Now that was very, very nice Amera, I'd be very hard pressed to come close to matching that. Actually more of a eulogy ya know. And by the way thats colored water as I well know what real blood looks like all too well.

    lova ya gal


    Dad


  • mysticstorm gold member
    April 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You always write such wonderful form poetry. It is a pleasure to read and enjoy. Glad we found each other or less I would never have been so priveldged.
    Truly beautiful loving flow, done with the skill of a master. Very deeply moving.
    Thank you for sharing.
    Best always!


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    April 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful and so very well expressed. You've used the form to its full potential & I'm proud to have read this! Well done with it, its a hard form to grasp. Good luck in your contest. I hope you're well. La x


    • Amera gold member
      April 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much Laura. A comment from you is like finding that small unwrapped present under the Christmas tree. Knowing your work and the forms you have created makes me feel humbled for I know you will be listed with the great masters of poetry and the fact that you turned your head and looked at me is a true honor.

      Love,
      Amera


  • Desire gold member
    April 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Moly!!

    Powerful piece You have penned my Friend
    Sad verse but Beautifully done~
    Love the form You used and not heard of it but looks Fascinating and Love the rhyme~
    Flows so smoothly off the quill~
    rolls off the tongue~~when read
    and presentation Magnificent~~

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent!
    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • blueyez
    April 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was very sad and intense. I love the title and the way you used it in the write. Very well done lovely


  • PerVirtuous
    April 3, 2007

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    Artistic Genius!

    This is a very difficult form and you have navigated it brilliantly! The flow is superb, the meaning clear, and the content moving. An excellent example of a formal poem with complete artistry! Three bunnies for this!


  • Vagabond
    April 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    great work, i've never heard of that form before! You're going to be my last critique of the night, unless i find a sudden burst of energy, so forgive me if a sound alittle tired, i've never done thirty comments all in a row before. Anyways, as to the content of your poem, it was certainly an interesting subject, even if the assosiation of love and red roses is a little cliched... At the same time, the form you chose was interesting and from what i can tell you managed to hold it together very well. Thnks for entering and best of luck in my contest!


    • Amera gold member
      April 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Analexii

      Thanks for the effort. I feel bad for you, there are so many entries. I don't see how you can do it.

1 - 13 of 13