I'm starting to wish that
[maybe]
I was never here
[goodbye]
Author notes
Li-thi-um.
A contest entry
- Basically I'm...... by anima bella.
300 points, ended April 4, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Aww. Laura-chann. That does sum you up, but we so-so wish it didn't.
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Very good. This is the conciseness I have been looking for. It is a conciseness that actually works. It does not ask anything more to be mentioned as it explains a lot on its own. From what I am getting, this work is communicating on different levels. That is actually quite nice as that, I believe, gives a reason to write poetry, compared to choosing prose. This could be my favorite eleven words. Because these words are saying so much more than what they could if read literally.
There is this idea of wishing that the persona should not be here. But at the same time, there is this phenomenon of second thought, which is accurately human. Therefore, in such a short work, the persona has become more developed, and more detailed than just giving the idea of a persona as a 'speaker.'
I am very much impressed because I am not a man who enters contests much. I think this is one of the better ones I have read today.
Keep writing!
- Nick (",)
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Ah, yes the great sensations of lithium. Nice.
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You should have been in my last contest. So much said in so few words. Wonderful job utilizing the brackets with reason.
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