Come, passion, and return to me.
Be compassionate to one with whom you walked---
walked beside, braced against the stripping wind,
sheltered within your tender coat.
Come, promise, and inspire me again.
Do not compromise our past for the needs of our future---
do not feed our history to our hungry years,
leaving only aging crumbs.
Come, passion, and command and compel me.
Show compassion to my shivering form
Lend me your coat again, its many pockets
filled with warm bread to share.
Author notes
a work in progress, just banged it out today. Saw the one word prompt "compassion", and heard it as two words. Be brutally honest.
A contest entry
- One Word Prompt by Celticmoon.
300 points, ended April 4, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
Very creative
play on the word compassion! I really like this unique take on the prompt...
And I especially like the metaphor in this write...the ending is superb.
Compassion is one of my favorite words and you did it justice with style!
Blessings! Tammy
-
Okay I am going to be absolutely Brutally honest here.... this was AMAZING. I have never read anything quite like it. It was a beautiful mix of words with a lot of cleverness and emotions mixed in with it. This was so good it took my breath for a second. I am exclaiming aloud to my self. Amazing.
Much Love nd Respect
Carrie
-
I really liked this, the word play was interesting.
Do not compromise our past for the needs of our future---
do not feed our history to our hungry years
This is beautiful.
And thank you for the comment.
-
Love those one word prompts that gets our muse working and helps us create writes like this one. Very sincere and asking for such a response - a very compassionate one.
-
this is very well done
you have a wonderful poem here whether more might be done or not, this is more emotion thanI have perceived in your writing, very appealing...PK
-
You claim this is a work in progress yet I would consider this a completed piece of poetry that is filled with compassion and creativity as well. your words have done well in showing the depth of what compassion is. Thanks for entering and good luck!
-
-
Thanks dear, and enjoyed this contest, my muse needed a quick, spontaneous jump-start.
-
-
I like the wordplay with com-passion and com-promise, and taking the point of view of the receiver, the needy one, is what compassion is all about. I'm not getting line 9, the wordplay doesn't work here as well. The last two lines are great.
Some people would consider this a finished poem, but if you don't, then I want to see it when you do.
-
-
Thanks Margaret, and for your eagle eye on line 9. got stuck there and sold out for the alliteration. one of the things to tweak a little.
-
-
this is pretty neat idea...I really like how you made passion a person instead of a creature inside of you that needs to be controlled or a blazing fire of emotion...no, it's a warm, kind, person who got separtated from you long ago..."Come, passion, and return to me.
Be compassionate to one with whom you walked---
walked beside, braced against the stripping wind,
sheltered within your tender coat."
good luck!
-
-
thanks Avende, I think that's it exactly.
-
-
This was interesting, but very good!
I liked it. -
Good so far..I like it..I love the ending...maybe just develope the middle..just a thought, thanks for sharing
-
Interesting piece. I love it. Compassion shown from both sides, the need , the want, the giving and taking.. all laid bare. well done. Good luck with the contest. Blessings. Debby
-
Very interesting piece. I liked the flow of it and it had a way of making the reader think about their own situation. I liked it alot.
Good luck in the contest
Soulful Woman
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
