I look around
I'm alone
I try to talk on the phone
I go outside, nothing in town
I walk to the park
I don't see anything
Not even a kid on a swing
No one here after dark
I stroll to the mall
No one to open the door
No one in any store
No one here to call
I turn around to see
A tall shadow loaming
Yet no sound booming
Two red eyes looking at me
The creature had no sparks
Breathing really slow
Where it came from, I don't know
The town swalloed by dark
Author notes
This is for a contest, pray for me thanx
It's not really that long either
A contest entry
- Take Me Down by Sle3p.
450 points, ended April 4, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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great job honey!!!
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Awsome!
Awsome!!oh yeah!!I forgot to tell you.FluffyDemon is my real sister!!!!
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My precious ... this is a very good piece, you're reaching inside yourself and discovering talent you didn't think you had. I love the fact that you appear to be challenging yourself. One note- 'swallowed' instead of 'swolloed'.
Love ya, daughter of mine!!
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Thanx
Thax for that daddy I'll fix that now
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Very powerful and dark-filled images here....took the reader on a perilous journey....so well written...good luck Sis! Smiles, Terry
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Nice
sorta like a story,loved it i write storys too.i like how you said you were the only one anywere accept you and the thing,marvolus first poem to start the contest,job well done!
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