Life requires action.
I dissipate alone the blue layer
between Heaven and earth;
duty has peeled away
my ability to nurture life
I long for the days my tears where cast
when quick the green grew out of sand;
before it had to struggle and fight
for the offerings I gave freely
you stole, squandered then blamed me.
Now you stock and surround
all that I have left, my tiny oases
edges peeling, your cracks creeping,
saturated with all that I have lost
and still you demand more.
My strength to fly is gone
so I sit waiting for the end
laughing at you;
you’ve taken all that I am
and now we both shall die.
Author notes
Part one : http://allpoetry.com/poem/2806162
In a list
A contest entry
- ~Peeling~ by -Ink Artist-.
525 points, ended April 14, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Congrats on the silver - this is very well written and deserves the recognition.
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it only is right that this should win a sliver, too...great job. Very nice how you paired them up.
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thank you,
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Excellent! I had to go back and read the other part in the other contest again and then re-read this one to see the comprehensive relation you brought to both writes. Your metaphor is creative and gripping. The flow of this piece is superb and the imagery, brilliant. Loved them both. Thanks for your entry!
~Lori
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thanks Lori, demands was so gripping but one sided I felt it must be answered.
I am very pleased and proud of both pieces as with any relationship:
demands diminish!
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Bravo! standing in applause!
This is hard and telling. When two do not work in synch, I guess there is nothing left but the failure of the pair. However, perhaps survival of the one could light a little hope?? Maybe? So deep. I needed to read them both together for the flow to stay steady, and that made such an impact. So good Ken. ~Pamela
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very creative with the metaphors used....emotional as well...provided a detailed picture of relationships that have run its course...
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thanks, you should look at part one for the whole picture / story.
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