God

If God cares, why is there pain?
Why is there chaos,
destruction,
depression,
and tears that fall like rain?

I pray to God
but I fear my prayers fall on deaf ears.
Has God turned away?
Has he given up,
abandoned us,
abandoned me over the years?

Am I paying for my sins?
For what I did
or what I didn't do?
Am I paying for the mistakes I made?
The prayers I didn't pray?
The churches I didn't go to?

Have I wondered away too far?
Is He there?
Does he love me?
Does He listen to my prayers?

When other men have left
is he still there?
I ask for help
but does God still care?

Will he forgive my mistakes
I made as a child?
The lies I told?
The pain I caused?
Will he welcome me home?
Will he smile?

If God cares
why am I this way?
I try to put Him in my life but,
I fear He has turned away.