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Hell Could Open and You Could Be The Devil

Hell could open and i's still love you as much as yeaterday
You could be the devil and inside my heart nothing will change
All of the angels could tell me to run and i still would stay
Because no matter what there isn't a thing that could keep me away

Every kiss you place upon my skin leaves a scar on my soul
There is no pain just a feeling that i never want to go
And as soon as you hold me tightly in the blinding sunlight
I wish that you don't let me go all throughout the night

I cherish every second you look deep into my eyes
It starts a fire that as long as you love me never dies
Death is the stalking shadow that i lose as soon as you touch me
I feel like i have spent my life blind and for the first time can see

Hell could open and i's still love you as much as yeaterday
You could be the devil and inside my heart nothing will change
All of the angels could tell me to run and i still would stay
Because no matter what there isn't a thing that could keep me away

Food and water is worthless for you are all i need to live
You know that i have few pocessions love is all i can give
Now that you own me completely you can do what you please
God became meaningless to me since he left me on my knees

I lie in bed at night barely able to sleep with your memory
I am waiting for you to come here and set me free
With a stitched up heart and torn soul i'm surprised you care
Yet every day i could just say the word and you can be there

Hell could open and i's still love you as much as yeaterday
You could be the devil and inside my heart nothing will change
All of the angels could tell me to run and i still would stay
Because no matter what there isn't a thing that could keep me away

Right now you aren't here and the world has become a cemetary
With whispers of death and love it's strange and almost scary
But nothing in this world can stop me now that i love you
I don't care who says it's wrong because there's nothing i can do

Hell could open and i's still love you as much as yeaterday
You could be the devil and inside my heart nothing will change
All of the angels could tell me to run and i still would stay
Because no matter what there isn't a thing that could keep me away

Author notes

Lady Nightshade option 2

snickerdoodles

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Paulies Cracker
    October 16, 2007

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    aw this is amazing!! i really LOVED this poem!! thank you sooo much for entering my contest and i wish you the best

  • piccola silver member
    October 13, 2007

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    Some typos or spelling errors, but I like the idea of the poem. I'm doing a pre-judge right now if you want to fix it.


  • beautyamoungblades
    October 10, 2007
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    i like this job well done thank you for enterin

  • piccola silver member
    October 8, 2007
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    I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT , THIS IS MARY GRANDAUGHTER IM HELPING WITH THIS CONTEST ,,, FILLED WITH ALOT OF EMOTION ... IM MOVEING YOU UP


  • oldphotosonlybringt
    October 6, 2007

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    very nice poem sweetie, i loved reading it bunches it is formed nicely thanks bunches and good luck to you in my contest also thanks for following the rules much love..xxx


  • forbidden-colour
    September 22, 2007
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    I like how the lines are repeated, it adds effect.
    Thank you for entering,

    All my love!
    x


  • Asylaarix
    September 16, 2007

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    Wow this poem is in a lot of contests ... Not that I can blame you for putting it into so many ... It was absolutely beautiful ... The only thing I have to mention to you about your piece ... is the I's ... really should be capitalized ... It's just a pet peve of mine that I can't help but mention ... But it really was absolutely beautiful ... Very well done indeed ... I love the way you put yourself out there for everyone to know your true heart ... It's one of the best peices I have read in awhile ... Much luck to ya in the contest ... and much love as well!

    Chantelle


  • LadyKate
    September 3, 2007

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    I really like the feeling of love mixed with the feeling of sadness. This is amazing. Thank you for entering and good luck!


  • Aurielle
    August 11, 2007
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    I like that first line in the second stanza. Very deep i see that all of your emotions in here...


  • FlamingoCroquet
    June 22, 2007

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    The chorus to this is verrrrry creative, and that's what I like...but a lot of the verses are kind of cliche. Not painfully OMG red roses kinda cliche...but "hmm, I've heard that a lot before" cliche. I wish you would have kept the same power you had in your first verse throughout the rest of the poem.
    It does have a lot of eyes, but it is very effective, and it does evoke emotion.
    Overall it's good, I'd say 7.5/10


  • LadyInRed55
    June 15, 2007
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    Okay

    this is a really cool love poem, but I don't like all the i's. Other than that everything flowed well and rhymed. I loved that you added Hell in this poem, because lovers do kill themselves over heartbreak and love.
    Please tell me your gender.
    Thanks!!!


  • GimmeSomeGasoline
    June 11, 2007
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    Hey, I like this a lot. It's definately got a good feel to it and I dig the passion for your boyfriend that really comes through in it. D'you have music for this? Cause it seems like it'd be a really good slow-punk song. Just one typo though, pocessions is spelled posessions. But yeah, good luck and keep the feeling. I'd like to hear/read more


  • PaintedParisPassion
    June 11, 2007

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    This was sweet. In the very first line, is it supposed to be i's or i'd? I couldnt tell if i was misunderstanding it or what, lol. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest. :]


  • Paincalledlove
    May 31, 2007
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    Congrats You are a finalist. Love it its long holds my attention congrats!


  • loveaswellashate
    May 28, 2007

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    Wow I really like this.. this was AWSOME!! kick ass job.. thanx for joining and good luck in my contest...
    Laters
    Loves...*hugs*


  • Dark Whispers
    May 26, 2007
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    This is a really great poem, but what is really desrating from the poem is you need to puncuate it. I had to reread many parts to add commas in my mind. I think that that took away from the poem,and please capitalize your I's that is a little annoying.
    Despite the puctuation it was a very lovely poem. thanks for entering.

    ~dark


  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    May 24, 2007
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    Thank you for your lovely entry, Josephine


  • Procrastination
    May 22, 2007
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    Nice poem, well written.
    Goodluck in the contest.
    Emily x


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    May 4, 2007

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    cld u pleas put option number and title and my motto into authors box and then message me wen done so i can do a proper comment


  • SixStringDebauchery
    April 3, 2007

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    Thank you

    ''Death is the stalking shadow that I lose as soon as you touch me'' Very good! I had to think about that one! lmao! Thanks... allot.

  • SecretMe15
    April 3, 2007

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    Wow

    These lyrics are really powerful. I write lyrics too and this is way better than what I write. Good write!

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