My angel of mercy, sweet angel of death
Take my hand and lead me from the fires of hell.
Cut the ties that bind me to this mortal coil at last,
Deliver my tormented soul from this realm of pain.
Breathe your essence of purity and light into my heart
So that I might at last taste the glory of the heavens.
Save me from the pit of despair this world has become
Where men, hidden behind their guise of humanity,
Have torn into my flesh just to see how much I bleed.
My sanity has been washed away in a flood of my own blood.
Brought to my knees, I have no strength to rise again.
My spirit is withered from new abuses heaped upon old wounds.
My soul continues to writhe in agony as my heart cries for salvation.
Author notes
My Immortal soul lives forever, option 2 and option 5!
Word Bank Words: Blood, Death, Writhe, Cut, Bleed, Pain, Withered, Brought, Old, Heart, Torn, Breathe
A contest entry
- Options- AND LOTS OF THEM!!! by Darkened Seraph.
825 points, ended April 16, 2007, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyming poems of all sorts, please submit here by Vagabond.
300 points, ended April 11, 2007, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Starting a Vampyre Clan, Enter to join by Lord Merlynn.
600 points, ended August 14, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I really hate slow contests too.
anyhow, this is an amazing piece, well written and with great imagery. good luck in my contest.
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Good job, I like how you wrote this one.
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Thanks hun, I appreciate it
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Great! First off and formost; Thank you for being the first person to enter my contest! I am so tired of holding the slow contests that no one wants to enter, and just for once would like to have something with entries numbering greater than 20!
In concerns to your poem, I can see from your Author comments and contest history that this was initially a poem created for a contest concerning wordbank and such. Myself, I am not usually partial to such contests, for it is difficult to find the inspiration to write a poem when there is someone screaming out which words you ought to use in your peice. The effect of that has taken its toll upon your work, and the poem above lacks the depth of emotion and sympathy to the topic that a peice wholly inspired by you might have had. At the same time, overall, its a fairly good write, and an instersting read. Perhaps a little bit of a Typical standpoint on death, however.
Good work anways, and again, thanks again for entering my contest! -
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I know what you mean on the slow contests. I ran my very first one and I had such high expectations for it and I've had a grand total of 6 enteries. It kinda makes me sad because it was a contest in search for an AP family, something everyone seems to have, and I had it set up for gold, silver, bronze, and three honorable mentions. Anyway, thank you for your honesty in regards to my poem. It is quite cliched, I know that, but I quite like this one. I'm not expecting a win for your contest but I really did want some honest critique on this and I got that. Thank you again for your honesty. It is quite refreshing when often times I seem to get one line reviews saying either "I like it, nice work" or "It needs work" on this site and others.
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I'm glad you enjoyed my critique, i am rather prone to long ones, and though i try to be nice sometimes i can't help but scold a little here and there... Only true poets are good enough sports to take the critisism, Keep writing!
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If all you ever hear are good things, you can never get better because you don't know WHAT to improve upon. Also, if all you ever hear are good things you start to think people are just telling you what you want to hear.
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wow, simply wow this poem is fantastic i'm just dumbstruck with what to say, the imagery is powerful and the title is perfect for this poem this has to be one of my favourite so far well done and good luck
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Thank you so much, I was trying to combine some of your options. This is my attempt at tying in the word bank with options 4 and 5 as well as what it seem like you favor in your music choices. I hope that I have succeded in crafting something that you enjoyed reading. Thanks for the awesome words that inspired this poem, I have to say I quite like it myself. Thanks for the opportunity to share this one in your contest.
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Lol anytime I seem to have a habbit of creating inspiring words to get people motivated, and im glad you like this poem it is a fantastic write, if i wanted to i would make this winer now but i want more writes lol, anyway i have really high hopes for this poem
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Thank you so much for your kind words. You've totally just made my day
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