When friends touch upon your heart
then vanish like smugglers from your port
in the undertow of waxing and waning wants
with a tender piece of you amongst their cargo
leaving you only with memories that fade in time
Cling to me!
When loved ones who once provided sanctuary
in their love you once thought beyond conditions
grow cold in the winter of their disappointment
and don black robes as they strike you with gavels
leaving you only with hopes of a reckoned appeal
Cling to me!
When family so much a part of your life
follow their destined paths to worlds beyond
abandoning their posts of benevolence
to follow beings with feathered wings and white robes
leaving you only with a void unfulfilled
Cling to me!
When your world that was once friendly and new
loses innocence as your perspectives evolve
and you grow weary in your fight to preserve
the integrity of your naive hopes and dreams
leaving you only with embittered maturity
Cling to me!
When all seems blunt in absence of meaning
minute in the vast scope of infinity
and you drown in the incomprehensive
that lies beyond your cognitive savviness
leaving you only with enduring despair
Cling to me!
When all seems to be for nought
and you are orphaned by all you held dear
or any moment you find yourself needy
I'll be your unshakable Rock of Gibraltar
leaving you only in the content of my love
Cling to me!
For whatever the reason be
and know that I shall cling to thee!
ETERNALLY!
Author notes
*In never ending love and dedication to my soul mate Ashley. I am forever yours my beloved cutie.
Cling to me!*
James Edward Boyd Tuesday April 3rd, 2007
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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Cling to me!
For whatever the reason be
and know that I shall cling to thee!
ETERNALLY!
Well my friend I can see your heart here withh its melody and its dedication for the lovers heart as well..This is just wonderful immagery of the beauty of love my friend. Your words here touching the depth of the muse brining a kind of universal interpretations of the conventional subject so I loved its depth and the intensity of the thoughts which are just wonderful with its impact and its softness of impact ..well
done my friend..a great poem is here..
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glad i happened upon this. this is quite an impressive write, beautiful expression of love that demonstrates a good understanding of and great skill at artfully describing hardship. the long winding sentences of the stanzas are great.
i especially loved the extended metaphors of the first two stanzas
"vanish like smugglers from your port...
with a tender piece of you amongst their cargo"
"grow cold in the winter of their disappointment
and don black robes as they strike you with gavels"
wow.
i was excited to see the next clever, apt metaphor you would come up with, and was a bit dissapointed when they abruptly ended. but not much, because your description is still rich and striking.
"you grow weary in your fight to preserve
the integrity of your naive hopes and dreams
leaving you only with embittered maturity"
the only part i didn't like so much was the allusion to the "Rock of Gibraltar" and the final stanza, where the rhyming seemed pinced and the archaic phrasing pretentious to me. it didn't seem to fit... i'm sure you can find a more worthy ending to this otherwise marvelous piece. -
great poetic style! I like the repetition in the last line of each stanza. There is a cause and effect thing going on: When...leaving you with...I unique way to tell someone how much you love them. It reminds me of Matthew Arnold's "Dover Beach" with the idea of human companionship becoming the only reliable thing left... Good Job!
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Wow. This was a brilliant piece! A lot of people go to rewarding poems simply to get the points, but they're missing out, because as soon as I started reading, I could not stop! It was like the poem was clinging to ME. What a great and profound piece! Keep writing!
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Truly Blessed by such a love
I hope she shines for the love you showere her with has rebuilt her wings forever for a love as such are as those from fairie tales I hope she knows this
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Thank you dearly for your heart warming review. In my efforts I am begining to feel that she does and will continue to prove it to her in a lifetime of love and commitment.
I apologise for not responding sooner to comments and I do look forward to reading some of your work soon. My hands have been full as of alte with a death in my family and another I fear is soon to follow.
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This struck a chord with me, absolutly fantastic poem!
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My goodness... when I read this, I was left in silence.
'When your world that was once friendly and new
loses innocence as your perspectives evolve
and you grow weary in your fight to preserve
the integrity of your naive hopes and dreams
leaving you only with embittered maturity'
What you wrote in this stanza, have been the words I have been searching for, to describe my niave hopes and dreams & the broken heart I was left with when I travelled across the globe to the one I asked to cling to me. It wasn't to be.
Reading this gives me reassurance and the will inside to believe that a great loves does exist and that there is someone out there for all of us to cling to.
You work continues to inspire me.. and touch my soul. Thank you for sharing your heart.
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*huggs you warmly* Your comment made me sigh. Thank you so much for finding the time to review this in the light of your heart ache. I am so sorry that things did not work out upon meeting and hope that there was no deception involved when you went so out of your way to find out. If anything at least now you know.
I feel quite deeply rewarded in that you have found some comfort in your time of hurt from my words. That is a feeling of accomplishment that no amount of money could ever buy. While I mourn your loss of what could have been, I strongly encourage you not to give up the search. I wish you patience in your time of need and dear blessings from fate itself in reward of your efforts. I can imagine the heart sinking feeling you had to harbor on your trip back home after such dissapointment. Such a sad trip is not an easy one to forget. But as I've said, now at least you know that that was not the one and can put your mind and heart at ease with the knowledge that you went to find out instead of living with the regret of not knowing like so many others do. May your heart heal soothingly with love in the time to come.
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Poet,
I had one heck of a time reading this. Mostly because I would read a line and it would become undigestible. . .and not in a negative way. It would haunt me and the next stanza would end up lost in a flurry of thoughts regarding the previous one and thus the maelstrom began.
"and don black robes as they strike you with gavels
leaving you only with hopes of a reckoned appeal"
loving this line and I am jealous I did not dream of it myself.
Bravo!
(And calling Ashley your "beloved cutie" in your authors notes simply adds to the experience - I believe because it is in serious juxtaposition to the serious and deep tone of the piece)
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Yes the maelstrom I know what you mean but believe me it was there as I wrote. Strong emotions of such an intensity are difficult for me to ignore inmy writes and thus have a strong infulence to my style.
I'm glad you liked the imagery in that stanza. I thought on it for a bit and put a lil extra efffort in speaking metaphorically without being flat out obvious in fear of sounding bland.
Hehe "juxtaposition" I've never heard that word before. You just increased my vocabulary and officially learned me sumptin.
Thank for that dear poet and for your time and honest review. I do dearly appreciate it in all its uniqueness comming from you.
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In the 2nd stanza, once is used rather closely together and feels just a tiny bit repetitive. And for Rock of Gibraltar - should prob'y capitalize the place name. Those minor notes aside, this was an endearing write, open and willing to be someone's 'log in the water' so to speak.
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Yes I notice that and can agree to some extent about the repetition as that is something I do strive to avoid but feel I shall keep it as is for now. It seems to fit with me. I have corrected the capitalization.
I thank you very much for your honesty and constructive criticisim here as well as your encouragement in your parting words.
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"When family so much a part of your life" - I would suggest making "family" into "family is" or "family's".
"the integrity of your naive hopes and dreams" - "naive" as "naïve"
"and you drown in the incomprehensive" - "incomprehensive" or "incomprehension" ?
"that lies beyond your cognitive savviness" - "savviness" isn't a word, or at least that I couldn't find. "savey/savvy" etc., are words but not the "ness" part.
Big words do not make a piece work well, for the most part. Sometimes it can but most times: not really.
In this piece: it doesn't work. It detracts from the imagery, makes the imagery seem independent on its own from the overall story and makes the impact of "Cling to me!" non-void.
I feel a few of them could stay but most of them should go. I would suggest using smaller words meaning the same thing.
The only excitement I got from reading this was the draw-in of the title in the verse.
It could use some work.
-Nam
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Well I'm not exactly an english major and could see your point from an objective perspective however feel that your personnal view in use of advanced english in poetry is more just that. "Personnal" in the form of opinion. I do have several poems here in which I have used simpler voacbulary and they do seem to quite well as they are. My first poem on here may very well be much more suitable for your tastes should you care to read.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2210087
In so far as "savviness" I did do some research on it as I wrote and while I did not find it used in the listed primary variations of the word "savvy", I did find it used in one of the definitions as found here.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/savvy
I'm sure it is abit of a stretch in diction as percieved from more formal eyes but I found it fitting personlly. You may be abhorred in my saying so but I find the use of "ness" quite acceptable here even though it has not yet been adapted into modern dictionaries as a proper variant of the word. I feel no shame in my view here either, especially in this day and age where the word "bling" has made it into dictionaries. Even Oxford's as well as Webster's I might add.
http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/21/messages/569.html
http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1471629/20030430/bg.jhtml
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/bling
None the less I do appreciate your honest criticism as well as your time in review. -
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It wasn't a question of "tastes", I just feel it doesn't work. There's a lot of works I do not like yet I still feel hold either a high quality and/or a low one.
I have no problem with people making up words however some pieces it works in and others not so much. This one, half-in-half.
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This is such a beautiful write, and it's one that any heart which beats uncontrollably with love will be able to relate to. It holds so much emotion and it also holds so much fact. So many of those people/things we used to rely on will move on in the circle of life, taking their own paths and walking forward. We must walk forward, too, and what a great walk it will be with the love of your life by your side, right? Excellent job on this one!
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I think the best love is one that is realistic. One that looks on in your future together and expects the bad times and flat out says, "Hey sure bad things will happen, but baby I'm not going anywhere but to you. Let's face it together, come what may, together." Now that is love you can have confidence in. Solid, reliable, ready for anything. I think alot of relationships lack such a stability and can quickly dissolve in the solvent of time as the "butterfly sensation" leaves.
Thank you very much for your insight and encouragement in review. I dearly appreciate it comeing from your profound mind young grasshopper.
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This is beautiful, and a write you should be proud of:
When family so much a part of your life
follow their destined paths to worlds beyond
abandoning their posts of benevolence
to follow beings with feathered wings and white robes
leaving you only with a void unfulfilled
Cling to me!
and
When all seems to be for nought
and you are orphaned by all you held dear
or any moment you find yourself needy
I'll be your unshakable Rock of gibraltar
leaving you only in the content of my love
Those were my two favorite parts of this poem, though the whole thing is fabulously beautiful and romantic. Such a sweet dedication to a lucky girl. Hold on to her and tell her you love her everyday... Best of luck in all you do...
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
CCX -
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"Hold on to her and tell her you love her everyday.."
Oh believe me I do and always will. That's all part of what love should me and I will make it so.
Thank you so very much for you encouaging thoughts on my poem here. I wish to extend such luck back onto you as well. May such beauty and romance fill your heart everyday of your life. If you have it, thenmay you hold onto it and if you don't then may it find you someday very soon. Thank you!
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"Cling to me!
For whatever the reason be
and know that I shall cling to thee!
ETERNALLY!"
This was a beautiful poem, and I hope that Ashley realizes just how lucky she is to have such a wonderful poet, and caring person in her life. -
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Awww thank you! I have a strong feeling that she does but then in writing I never seem to feel that I am expressing my love enough. It tis quite difficult to define such a thing when it is endlessly growing larger and greater with the passage of time. I am flattered that you like it. Thank you!
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i liked it but i though that you had so much to say and it was said but you should give the reader some time to breathe.without punctuation it just seem overwhelming. besides that i saw nothing wrong with the poem it was a very good write. it flowed nicely. i liked the extent of the vocabulary and the usage of such a broad word play. well done.
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Thank you, I know what you mean about itbeing so overwhelming but believe me the overwhelming sensation in my heart brings it out that way. In the depths of such emotion it can be hard for the writer to breath as well which is the case here. I am very glad that you enjoyed my write here and appreciate your time in review.
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Bravo!
Well written open verse!
Flow is great
content beyond the surface
ending strikes a chord of strength in interdependence
Great Write!
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Thank you, thank you! I appreciate your encouragement and the knowledge that you enjoyed my work. Most rewarding. Again, thank you.
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in the undertow of waxing and waning wants
and don black robes as they strike you with gavels
leaving you only with embittered maturity
that lies beyond your cognitive savviness
I'll be your unshakable Rock of gibraltar
As I read I realised there was a line in each stanza that really stood out for me. This poem has all the elements of a true romantic! I love the word choice. It reflects a great thinker with a huge heart. I also liked how you didn't compromise the integrity of the piece for word choice. This is a real tough skill to master. I struggle with it from time to time. It can be difficult to get your message across withour sounding trite or cliche'...you have done it all very well here! kudos to you! peace and light, kp
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Thank you very much for the encouragement and your deep insight into this write. I'm glad to have presented such an appeal throughout my write in your eyes. I tend to think alot in that little world all my own that resides inside my head and when its inspired by the power of a love discovered in unknown depths the intensity is so equally rewarding as well as overwhelming.
I try consciously and sometimes unconsciously to avoid being too cliche. Things like "sweet as a rose" and "like moths to a flame" or "burning passion" have been so very much done in poetry. I agree it can be quite difficult to break in that it comes so naturally as if by habit. Us humans being creatures of habit, it is a struggle on multiple levels. I take pleasure in your appreciation of my efforts here. Thank you very much.
James.
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My dearest friend
You seriously bring tears to my eyes. You are forever the romantic soul, and again the fact that you have such an amazing person in your life to bring things such as this from you, is still the most wonderful thing in the world!
It's beautiful my dearest James! And I forever want to see such happiness and unending love from you.
Thank you Ashley, thank you for making my dear friend so very happy!!! For this you shall always have my undying gratitude and friendship.
I love you forever my dear dear friend.....this is a GREAT write!!
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*sigh* My dear friend, thank you for helping carry me in the time I was without her. You were a great help. I so wish that a love would come into your life to make you just as happy. I would like to see that day come to youvery much. I love you too my dark fey friend.
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Just for the fun of it...
'Cling to me!'...I love imagey so lets see what is in this lovely write...'vanish like smugglers from your port'...'a tender piece of you amongst their cargo
'...'grow cold in the winter of their disappointment'....'leaving you only with a void unfulfilled'...'weary in your fight to preserve
the integrity of your naive hopes and dreams'...'minute in the vast scope of infinity'...'leaving you only in the content of my love
'...Enjoyed the lines lovely write...and I thank you and do keep writing...a good job well done...Sandra! -
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Thank you Sandra, weither for fun or not your encouragement is very uplifting. I appreciate your time in review and an dearly glad that you have enjoyed my work here. Its most rewarding.
you're very welcome,
James
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Hello Beautiful friend. This is wonderful, what a lovelly thing to write, your heart is soulful and joyful. Your a wonderful man and I am happy for you that you have such a wonderful song in your heart!!
Wonderful as always.
Love and Hugs
P xx
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Thank you! Such a love in my heart does leave me quite soulful and the joy is an anomaly all its own. I so appreciate you reviewing my work and hope all fares well in your heart's completion as well.
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Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww *deep breath* wwwwwwwwwwwww
And so on
This is wonderful
A love so precious you can write something as bootiful as this
There are so mnay lines that took my breath away, made me feel so many emotions and just lighten my heart so much
This is beautiful in every aspect
Well done
Lots of hugs from the HUGGLE MONSTER!
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Breath Lorny BREATH!!! Heh Awww yourself. You really made my night with your encouraging words in review of my work dear you anomoly prodigy of an artist you! MMM! Huggles! Now that has to be my favorite quality in you my friend. Thank you so much for everything.
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These words are like a kalidescope of feelings. The loving sanctuary that you offer is more than anyone can even imagine. Your strength is evident and with that comes a love eternal.
Great write, my friend....Your words sing.
Soulful Woman
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Thank you so much! I'm glad the strength shined through on this write. I feel it so very strongly and wanted that expressed very much. I appreciate your warm remarks and encouraging applause.
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