The most painful tears of my life
Strike my cheeks like nails through ice
Like fire through my flesh
I long to be angry and to hit something
To kick the dirt up off the Earth
And bust down a wall in my wrath
I want to sob, but my tears
They never come the way I wish they would
They never just pour and pour
But only come as single droplets
Down my salt chapped cheeks
I remember them so well
All the things that we went through together
My mom and my little brother
I miss them so much
I want to hate the man that sat behind the wheel
Of that Ford pickup truck when it slammed into her car
But I can't, I know he didn't mean to kill them
I am so worn down by the sadness and ignorance
That has become this world
There are days, like today
When my heart begs me to pick up a blade again
And to cut my pain away
But my mind has so much control and logic
That it never allows me to let go
So many people have hurt me in my life
And I could never understand why
What did I do, what have I done
To deserve this torture
If I had known what was going to happen
I would have said 'I love you' one more time
I would have embraced them one last moment
Before letting them drive off
They were so close, to their destination
When that truck struck them...
So close to me, and I could do nothing
I saw my mom, in the front seat of our demolished car
Her head hung to the side but her body upright
I thought she was unconscious
And screamed out to her, ran toward her
But the police stopped me, they wouldnt let me go to her
I was pulled away, crying, sobbing
When I had the chance, I looked over a strangers shoulder
And the sight nearly stopped my heart forever
The EMTs covered my mother with a yellow sheet
Immediately, I knew of her fate
That day plays through my mind constantly
When I was sitting in a van, waiting
Waiting to know what happened to my little brother
I turned towards the door and knocked
My brother in law was on the other side
He opened the door, I spoke
'What about Eric?'
His eyes watered up and he shook his head
In a second, I lost two people that meant the world to me
I miss them terribly, but wouldn't change their fate
My mother no longer cries herself to sleep
And my brother no longer hears the voices
Of so many people trying to tear him down
Just the night before, we were eating smores
Sitting around the camp fire
That day, they went to town for more supplies
We were staying an extra night
Just outside the entrance of the park
While making the right turn that would lead them to us
They were stripped from this earth
I hope they didn't know
That they never screamed or saw it coming
That painful day haunts my dreams
My thoughts, my life
I think that because of this write
I will finally let go and wander outside
To let my heart pour out my pain
I will live on, suicide is far from an option
But, maybe now, I will be able to cry
And to let my anger out
Author notes
The events in this poem are true... every statement, every line, is fact.. this was a direct outpouring of my feelings and thoughts.
A contest entry
- How Are You Feeling? ((PRE-WRITES ALLOWED!)) by A Murderous Lament.
390 points, ended April 28, 2007, 167 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your pain by wolfcub.
600 points, ended June 1, 2007, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "I'm sad" POETRY :( by thelovesongwriter.
345 points, ended June 20, 2007, 96 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - let me know... by burning alive.
550 points, ended July 25, 2007, 42 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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great job man. keep it up.
-Angel-
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I can't begin to explane how this made me feel right now. I'm 15, and I don't know my father... and my mother may not have too much longer to live. I just hate feeling sorry for myself, it just makes me depressed... and when I read this... I don't know... it just made me kinda think of it in a less selfish way... my mother's been in a lot of pain her whole life... and it's probably better for her to go.... but it hurts so bad... I'm actually in tears right now. I can only imagine how this must have made you feel... and I can only hope my mom dies quickly and painlessly... but the doctors say she'll die in a lot of pain and in a wheel chair... and that really upsets me in many ways... mostly because she's a dancer.... That just breaks my heart to know that....
omg... I'm sorry man... I didn't mean to just pour my heart out to you... this poem just reminded me of my own situation for a minute there... but anyways... it's a great piece of work you've got here... and good luck in the contest man.
-Angel- -
this is a vry beautiful poem. it's filled with sadness, emptiness and does not sound cliche at all...i'm sorry for your loss..i lost my someone who meant so much to me also and i felt the same way. great job and good luck!
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It's good that you've written this, a direct outpouring and telling of your life, what you are going through. It doesn't hold back, aims for a complete telling, no flaws in the form, style and composition. You've accomplished something valuable here.
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This is such a woeful poem.
If this is a true story, I grieve for your loss.
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