Simple man who paints with words
Hears the fading songs of birds
As the night begins to fall
Cicadas speak with sirens call.
Takes a pen in calloused hand
Casts his eyes upon the land
Hopes to write, when he is done
A portrait of the setting sun.
Trees, like soldiers standing guard,
Shadows stretch across the yard,
On the forest on the hill
Light is shining brightly still.
To the west the painted sky
Colors clouds as they drift by,
Quarter moon begins to show
As the pace of life turns slow.
Final moments of the day,
Sun drops low and slips away,
Fireflies springing from the grass,
Twilight now has come to pass.
Stars awaken just in time,
Take their place in nature's rhyme,
God, how I adore this view
I wanted you to see it too.
A contest entry
- Imagery Contest--Take Me For A Walk by Viyanna Rosemarie.
850 points, ended April 24, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite " SPECIAL" by wingsofgold25.
450 points, ended May 17, 2007, 123 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Many Amazingly Super Fantastico Options!!! Clicky Clicky! :D by Flying-Flamingo13.
450 points, ended May 20, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 'Top Billing' Poet to my Page - 2nd Annual Contest - Prompt Anything by Florida Sunshine.
525 points, ended August 30, 2008, 28 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Images of Nature by apoeticinjustice.
900 points, ended February 7, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Favorite Rhyme by piccola.
900 points, ended March 9, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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this is beautiful. Filled with lovely imagery just like a portrait with words. If I were to close my eyes and have someone read this to me ... I could visualize it. Thank you for entering
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and see it I did, and I've witnessed it myself on many occasions. A beautiful picture of the sunset painted with words. Well done.
Rory
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Oh my, this is just a beautifully serene piece of writing. It relaxed me just reading it. No wonder it has garnered all those shiny Gold trophy's. Scott
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Congratulations on snagging another gold with this. It is indeed a beauty and goes to show that your writes don't have to be romantic to be great or to capture fans ... you are a wonderful poet. Dark, romantic, whatever you do it's always good. Oh ... and you can make mistakes although they are always tiny.
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WOW -- When I first read the title I told myself, you know your a 'sucker' for sunsets... keep it in mind and keep a good perspective. Though I tried to find something wrong with this, punctuation each line is capped but understand 'Word' doesn't like it when you don't cap at the start of a line--Oh, and you have an extra space between the 3rd and 4th stanza. But, NONE of that comes close to taking away from the read of this piece.
The imagery is overwhelming. I thoroughly enjoyed the beauty you've captured within this write. -- Wow... You've made me a complete fan!
Awesome write -- Thank you so much for entering the contest -- it was a welcome pleasure to read and review your work.
Best of luck to you,
Florida Sunshine
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LOL clever and well rhymed thank you for the poem and the view
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Very well done! i like the rhyming and how it all fit together. It painted a picture in my mind! Good work!
Emma
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Hood-Winked
Wow what a beautiful nature write! This is amazing. What wonderful imagery and emotion. I felt like I was there taking it all in. What a wonderful journey you have taken the reader on. I so enjoyed reading. Have a blessed day
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Hoodwinked!
What an astounding piece so full of imagery and emotion. You did a wonderful job penning this with the rhyme and just the complexity yet simplisity of it. Great job with this. I want to thank you for sharing this wonderful piece with us all. Keep it up.
Always right from the heart
Never give up
Kate
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HOOD-WINKED
Us Bandits are all over your page
...This is just breath taking and I cant thank you enough for sharing it with me
...Your words, the background...sighs...My friend you have truly shared Niaish~
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Hood-Winked!
Good title and presentation. Heartfelt. Very good imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Lovely depth of feeling. Vivid descriptives. Good word choice, alliteration and assonance. Nice simile. Very nice rhythm. You painted a delightful word picture with this piece. Well penned. Congratulations on winning Gold. Well deserved.
You have been hood-winked by a member of the Poetic Bandits.
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Hood winked!!!
My goodness this is toooo good to be true. Swept me off my feet. Absolutely mind blowing. The picture and the title so very fitting. No kidding I love every line of the poem. Your take on naure is something I absoutely admire. I can see why this one fetched two golden trophies........
Hey M coming back to give it another read again sometime soon. So beautifully done! Wish there were more applauds I can give...just to tell you that I wholly enjoyed reading it
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Beautiful, every single descriiptive word paints a beautiful image here, I am so jealous.
My soul will lighten up for me to speak one day,
been under many clouds so dark and grey
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Great job! this has a really great flow to it!!! My favorite lines would have to be...
Trees, like soldiers standing guard,
Shadows stretch across the yard,
I like many other lines also, but these are my favorites! Great job! Thank you for taking the time to enter my contest!
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The last line beautiful ending, Not only could I see but could realy feel the presence of a beautiful Sunset. Excellent write Best wishes in the Contest
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thank you very much for your entry into this contest for my friend. i wish you the best of luck. viyanna rosemarie
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You certainly have painted a very vivid picture of your sunset with outstanding words. A beautiful experience. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Good luck in the contest...Sue
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Thank you for your kind words my friend.
Roses
Raker
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Beautiful movement through this poem, I really enjoyed your phrasing! And how it all came together! I think I may have a new favorite.
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just lovely...
And I sure do...beauty all around always in full bloom...have a wonderful day.
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