My sapphire tears are fueled
By black diamond fears
My ruby heart turns
Into a garnet face
The monsters under my bed
My skeletons in my closet
My world falling to pieces
My carnelian feelings crushed
My gold wishes melted
By dangerous molten embers
My sterling silver hopes
Smashed into the wall
Screaming in the silence
Of my own turquoise mind
Nobody will hear me
In the platinum state of being
I cry my sapphire tears
From all my black diamond fears
My cracked ruby heart
Is shards of garnet grace
Author notes
wise-child12, Sapphire, Fears
A contest entry
- The Profound Rounds... Part IV by Kevan.
365 points, ended April 7, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Originality/Creativity - 9/10 Excellent work combining the two themes and the title.
Imagery/message - 9/10 Excellent metaphor between emotional adjectives and precious stones.
Style/Form - 8/10 Excellent job.
Rule following - 5/5 All rules were followed.
Flow (If poem does not rhyme) - 5/5 Nice flow here.
Other (Will specify) - 8/10 Wording was good as you took us into your heart.
Total - 44/50
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It's the best I've heard so far its brilliant. feel free to read my poem grandma's vacation.
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