The Tale of That Blaggard, Ol' Captain Caine

Now this is to be sung in a real piratey way, if ye take my meanin’, m’lads.


Now I’ll tell ye the tale o’ a vill’nous seaman,
Afeared on the oceans as well as the land;
Ruthless an’ cruel as the devil was he;
Ol’ Captain Caine, the lord o’ the sea.
- Ol’ Captain Caine, the lord o’ the sea. -

Captain Caine was a man, rough an’ unshorn;
He’d been on the sea since the day he was born.
A gnarled man he was, with one eye an’ one leg,
His missing right limb was replaced with a peg.
- Ol’ Captain Caine, the lord o’ the sea. -

His beard was like blood, a fierce an’ dark red,
As was the long hair that grew from his head.
His black, right eye gleamed with the plans that he hatched,
Whilst his left eye-socket was hid with a patch.
- Ol’ Captain Caine, the lord o’ the sea. -

He carried his gun all day an’ all night,
Never was he unprepared for a fight.
A swordsman o’ skill, o’ world-wide renown;
Tirelessly, he beat all enemies down.
- Did ol’ Captain Caine, the lord o’ the sea. -

He had a green parrot, by the name o’ Squawk;
For that’s all it did, though Caine swore it could talk.
He kept a snake in his room, which he’d wrestle for fun;
They battled each day, an’ each day Caine won.
- Did ol’ Captain Caine, the lord o’ the sea. -

Captain Caine was a man who liked a strong drink,
So rum-vats were stored in every chink.
A hard man he was, quick to stab an’ to choke;
He tortured an’ murdered as a cruel, mirthless joke.
- Did ol’ Captain Caine, the lord o’ the sea. -

He pillaged an’ plundered, he raped an’ he killed,
Chest after chest with treasure he filled.
He looted each vessel, each town an’ each shore;
His crew became rich, whilst the world became poor.
- Did ol’ Captain Caine, the lord o’ the sea. -

His ship, the Grim Reaper, was o’ monstrous size,
An’ embodied all victims’ painful demise.
Her cannons blew holes in many a ship,
Whilst her crew stood on deck, with sword, gun an’ whip.
- With ol’ Captain Caine, the lord o’ the sea. -

One day, she got caught in a violent storm;
The waves were too high, onto rocks she was borne.
A bolt o’ white fire set her mast asunder;
Covered in flames, the Grim Reaper went under.
- With ol’ Captain Caine, the lord o’ the sea. -

So that was the tale o’ that vill’nous seaman,
Who was feared on the oceans as well as the land.
Ruthless an’ cruel as the devil was he,
Ol’ Captain Caine, the lord o’ the sea.
- Ah, shiver me timbers; now pass me some grog -