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Birth of Life

A birth from creators womb has come to an end.

A heart's quest to survive,

by a soul's instinct,

has been slayed by the robots of humanity.

 

Each gender,

a mirror of histories past,

the built keepsake to be eternally reborn.

 

Our walk through life is carved into our mind,

to obey the carbon copy law.

A painted persona to be viewed with approved eyes.

 

Our desire to reveal a mind without a mask

will awaken the words of the demon's judge.

A crime for wandering feet,

shall be banished to a world of the rejected own.

 

The battle to feed the inner spirit's hunger has become a fight to be free,

with each fall a tear shall bleed,

only time can tell if strength will again stand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Society has written the rules, to be excepted and not be sterotyped, but when the rules are broken "in society eyes' it is a crime.... back to the end of the line just my thought Lyre-Bird-

username- Lyre-Bird-

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • xandercheerios
    June 7, 2007

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    The thing that catches my eye in this, is that you've used a modern day term within the rustic wording. Carbon copy... kinda threw it off from first glance, but after a re-read shows how necessary it is to the poem. Good luck

  • xandercheerios
    June 6, 2007
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    Um... is your username in the authors notes? Because I don't see it. And it was in the rules to have it in. That's how rounds contests work, and if you want me to read the poem, I'm going to need to be able to see who you are.


  • Biciaksr
    May 24, 2007

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    intense

    a truly intense poem that talks about realistic things happening in the world today...it's a poem that seems to apply to any and all times of life in society because there's always a battle for true freedom, something i m sometimes unsure if it can even be achieved....very powerful and well-written...i especially liked the last stanza and this:
    "Our walk through life is carved into our mind,
    to obey the carbon copy law.
    A painted persona to be viewed with approved eyes."




  • VirginiaDarling
    May 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Nice write and congradulations on the win.


  • Exodus gold member
    May 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I have always enjoyed your poetry. You take your time with it and put actual thought behind it. As such it ends up turning out brilliantly. I never have any suggestions on your pieces, I think they are perfect just the way they are. Thank you for entering


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    April 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    with each fall a tear shall bleed,

    only time can tell if strength will again stand.


    this is a great analysis of the truth of life with the a depth of the sentiments and with the philosphy of life ...indeed very intriguing as well..a great work...

  • PalmettoSky
    April 4, 2007

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    I loved this for the simple reason that you have allowed yourself to question and to step back and look at the bigger picture (and you're in it!). All that we are we have already been...all that you strive for is already yours...now the challenge lies in finding balance and harmony in all things....it all starts with respect and blossoms from there....you are onto something really profound for yourself...like a flower in the spring your blosom is blooming! peace and light, kendal


  • mysticstorm gold member
    April 3, 2007

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    Wonderful job! A very strong deep take on the picture and society. Great meaning and beautifully done!
    Excellent!
    Congratulations on the Silver!
    Love


  • Random Thoughts
    April 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow,
    What an intense read this is!!
    It has it all really, the depth of story and wording with a dark vision of society,
    A great style that made it impact on the reader all the more, Loved the message behind it,
    One of the most unique takes on this picture for sure,
    Loved it realy well done
    Thanks for your mind blowing entry and best of luck in my contest,

    -Brenden

  • pruedence
    April 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely said...and oh so ture...we don't all have to follow the lines and rules...it makes life better that way..thanks for sharing


  • Poetry and I Inc
    April 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wonderful words

    Our walk through life is carved into our mind,

    to obey the carbon copy law.

    A painted persona to be viewed with approved eyes.



    Our desire to reveal a mind without a mask

    will awaken the words of the demon's judge.

    A crime for wandering feet,

    shall be banished to a world of the rejected own.

    Love how u brought forth the message. Interesting metaphors! Well penned verses. Keep ur pen flowing. -theQueen"


  • BlackRabbit9x
    April 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love the metaphoric symbolism of freedom within your words..

1 - 12 of 12