I watch through pitiful eyes
As you slowly caress the evenness of my skin
Arousing the stimulation of your presence
You summon me
Luring me into your world
Offering me the crevice of my sanity
Creating a weakness in my emotions
You seduce me
Inhaling my soul
You feast delightfully
Satisfying your needs, for one more day.
Author notes
huzzar opt 3
A contest entry
- It's all about the mystery, life is! by S2ndQueen.
450 points, ended April 20, 2007, 35 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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this is scary and very beautiful, the title is brilliant and works with this so well i love it, it is very powerful and has a great flow throughout it making it this great write well done
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oh wow!!! this was a very powerful write and I enjoyed reading it..your words were very powerful and emotional as well and i really liked the pic keep writitng your talented and good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~ -
An interesting yin yang take on the subject. I like the entire feel of this piece and the concept of death as alluring and seductive. Not that I am a morbid or suicidal person, but I look forward to death ( although not the dying part, hehe) For I firmly believe there are answers to be found there, and I am inately curious about all things, including what's next! Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *
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Coolness
Good Job!
I like it a lot!
short, simple, good.
I enjoyed it very much.
G/L
~Jess -
I really love this piece! great job! it really captures the picture, and flows well! Interesting twist aat the end though!
S2
The Queen
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Picture and poem go so well together - the living and the dead, black vs white. Life and death, just a breath away.
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Enjoyable
I find this is a comfortable piece in a soothing way - but not out of the ordinary
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Hehe, this poem reminds me of the last comment I left you. Although I can't find your meaning behind this, I got from it what was in my head. How I do love your dark poetry, like alot of people. And this poem seems although you are talking about writtin dark poetry, being lured to make others happy with your poetry for one more day. Hehe.
But nicely written none the less, and there is alot more I got from it!!! But that was main reason.
Goodluck!!!
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wonderful
loved the seduction of the soul.
how i felt each touch and felt each breath
keep me always on my razors edge with these.
fantastic
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Oh my word! Another brilliant write. So dark and sad, yet really powerful. A woman who has it all together, allowing herself to be seduced out of pity for him.
Stellar write my dear. All the best with this.
Gaylene
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where did this come from i mean really, you did a great job on this but man, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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very nice laura!! As you slowly caress the evenness of my skin
Arousing the stimulation of your presence
You summon me - my fav lines
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SPECTACULAR!!
Luring me into your world Offering me the
crevice of my sanity. WOW This is such a
deep and dark piece of writting. Another
Masterpiece!! I love it! Thank You and
much luck to you in the contest.
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Inhaling my soul
Great line.
Another seductive write, draws you in and nibbles at your senses.
I hope you get something for this one, you are long overdue.
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Very nice. I like the pic. Good luck in the contest.
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So you have slipped back over to the dark side..lol You just do these pieces so well..it seems so easy for you..and they just come out so remarkably well.
Another great work, my friend.
Soulful Woman
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This is eeriely dark, yet there seemed to be a sensual longing. This is a deeply expressed piece beautifuly dark in content. Well done laura... thankyou for sharing.
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yo i like it and the pic to pertty smiles:
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wow this is really good
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