All alone here where my tears fell
Fading wings have a story to tell
Surrounded by darkness in a world of light
I know I must be quite the awful sight
What is left over of me from living
In a world built with loathing and hating
The wear and tear on my soul is deep
Though there is not a feeling I can keep
I give up everything, everything to you
I love you so much, just what do I do
To make you see there could be more
More than hate that I can be used for
I kneel here in a puddle of tears
As I reveal to you my worst fears
And hope to all that may be
That you won't throw my heart back at me
You are the angel fallen in my life
The one who brought uncertainty and strife
But I still feel the emptyness in my chest
Where my heart resided when I was at my best
I care for you though you were sordid
I hope you know, I do not regret what I did
I gave my heart to you, do with me what you will
No matter what, I will love you still.
Author notes
hey ~ yeeeaaaaahhh... -_-'
A contest entry
- Options & Reasons & Excuses by Naridill.
1400 points, ended April 10, 2007, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
...
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I'd change the formatting so that it was either couplet by couplet or four lines by four lines. As it is now it dirupts the thought and flow.
Very well done though. What is life without risks and let downs?
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Gasps...
Oh WOW.i loved the rhyme scheme in this.and the meaning in it...."I care for you though you were sordid
I hope you know, I do not regret what I did
I gave my heart to you, do with me what you will
No matter what, I will love you still."
i related to that so well and loved that part.easily my favorite part,i hope you do wonderfull in the contest.and i didnt see any mistakes.good job.
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wow girl, you know as i read this it just got to me, you did a strong job on this, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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Great job with this one it was done perfectly i love the rhyme scheme good luck in the contest
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Excellent write, this is very well done. The imagery is beautiful. "I kneel here in a puddle of tears", awesome wording. Wishing you luck in the contest.
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Bloody brillant~ mind my french!
I loved it. The use of the words, the meaning of it (the relation to many people, including me) It was very nicely written!!!
Thanks for entering and goodluck!!!
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