We think we are so different
in the way we are today,
from our prehistoric ancestors ~
but have we gone astray?
Has evolution tricked us
into thinking we have changed,
by inventing the computer, and
the New York Stock Exchange?
Our ego is so swollen,
we just don’t seem to see
that our journey through the ages
left a trail of debris.
We think we are so clever
by the standards of the day,
but our prehistoric ancestors…
I wonder what they’d say
if they saw the damage to our world,
the destruction and decay.
No doubt they’d view our ‘progress’
with horrified dismay.
Would Darwin, with his theories,
think we'd got it all down pat?
Would he applaud our 'progress'
and approve of all of that?
I hardly think it matters
for our future is unsure;
The health of planet Earth just isn't
healthy any more...
Author notes
A contest entry
- Second Chances, the rounds that never end 1 by Lady-Pegasus.
600 points, ended May 5, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darwin, Charles by whitecoffee.
1100 points, ended July 22, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 66 of 66
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Yes, I now wonder this too...nice rhyme here and very interesting take on the prompt. Thank you for entering it, I enjoyed the read alot!
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To move forward always good.
Do we really go astray.
A big question.
Same as the egg or the chicken.
One thing I know this is evolution. How the results come out will depend on the Supreme stage of God.
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BANDITS UNITED !!
A great message in this piece! I really enjoyed reading it because it shows nothing more than the truth... Very well written and quite thought-provoking.
Keep up the excellent work!
Annie 
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Great piece and so true, we have become quite selfish through the centuries and quite destructive too.
Glad to hear that we made you feel a bit better today.
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OOOPS you deserve the claps to! sorry ~ meant to put those on the 1st time around~
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Bandit's United!~
AWESOME write~ i thoroughly enjoyed it! Nice job! ~ Whoot! -
BANDITS UNITED !!
Funny but sadly true, Our ancestors would be shocked at the price (and waste) of our so-called progress. You deliver your message in a nice tight package with wonderful rhyme and flow. Well done my Bandit Friend!
Dennis
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Bandits United!!!!
Geez, this brings up a lot of questions that we seriously have to ask ourselves and strive for the answers. Veyr thought-provoking ... and I absolutely LOVE your title. So downright, so loathing, so sarcastic .. jeez I love that.
Your rhyme and flow were great - something which is very rare these days ... by the way, did I mention your title is amazing?
NeveR ♥ -
BANDITS UNITED!!
I've read this piece before, but it's just as good the second time around. Perfect pic to go with the poem. Such a thought-provoking piece! >pixxie< -
Bandits United!!!
This is great! and so true... There is so much destuction going on in the world today, all done in the name of progress. Wonderful rhyme and rhythm. Very well done!
Love & light
Debbera -
Bandits United
Nice work on an important issue, yet sometimes I think
we should write less about it and do more...
well done!
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Bandits United
Great message coming out of this poem. A true piece that says we have done so much stuff to are world that it doesn't deserve. Great rhyming scheme it flows so well. Wonderful Job keep it up.
Never give up
Kate
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I click on three claps it did not go. So here your three claps.
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BANDITS UNITED
I agree,I wonder what they would think. You have done a great job with this write. I wonder if they know this would. Be ashamed of what we done to they world. I think sometimes we lose what the true meaning to human means. It all about me. Very well done. -
Bandits United!
I loved everything about this, from the message to the technical aspects of rhyme, flow, and form. You ask some really good questions about our evolution, and I think you are exactly right about what our ancestors would think of us today. Great job and thanks so much for sharing. Enjoy your day in the spotlight!
Best wishes,
~J.
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BANDITS UNITED !!
Did you read in the news? Scientists discovered another skeleton near where they found "Lucy" and it proves that apes were living at the same time as the Lucy tribe, so now scientists are scratching their heads over evolution... WOW and this poem is so fine and true. We should clean up our act.
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Bandits United
if they saw the damage to our world,
the destruction and decay.
No doubt they’d view our ‘progress’
with horrified dismay.
The ending words in this say so much
Very artfull and insitefull write
Best to you
Rick
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BANDITS UNITED!
Your poem brought a wry smile to my face and underscored why I doubt the theory of this manner of evolution. Excellent rhythm and rhyme, and I hope you enjoy being spotlighted today!
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Bandits United!
Wow such a true write. Wonderful imagery and flow. The rhythm and rhyme are perfect Great write. Keep up the amazing writing and enjoy your day today in the spotlight will deserved
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forgot my clappies, I guess it won't let me give them as I read it before and gave them
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Bandits United!
Wonderful piece, excellent rhythm and flow. Loved where your mind took you in this one. Such truth and emotion in this great work. Hugs, Bunny -
Bandits United
I read this before a long time ago. It is amazing how far we think we come and we haven't gotten that far at all. -
Bandits united!
Horrified dismay indeed.....just watch two minutes of news any day, very well done gal, very well.Tells a valid, and timely, story
Len -
BANDITS UNITED: This is your day in the sportlight - enjoy - great picture to inspire this poem - so cute really - how far have we really come? LOL Have we really progressed as far as we think we have? Liked the flow, rhythm, rhyme and message this poem sends, or questions us with.
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True
I like this piece very much. There is so much truth in your words. Well done on writing such a great piece. Good luck in this contest.
Keep writing
Countrybabe
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if they saw the damage to our world,
the destruction and decay.
No doubt they’d view our ‘progress’
with horrified dismay.
though i do not believe in evolution, i do think that those who came before us would be truly petrified to see mankind cloning sheep {and perhaps attempting to clone humans} and all the damage our 'modern day inventions' has done to this earth.
you have written this well and i wish you the best of luck in this contest we both have entered. viyanna rosemarie -
Excellent - short - good rhyming - fits the picture very well
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So true
Thought provoking and well portrayed. -
SO TRUE
That poem was so true...what has society come too, maybe it was better when we had none of this technology.
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Wow, stumbled upon this...I really like it. It proves a good point, without sounding tacky...good job
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Thank you for your contest submission as well as for following the rules. This piece captures, perfectly, the intention of the picture, although you ahve certainly given it more oomph and certainly more artistic beauty than the image could possibly display!
Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *
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I love the simplicity of this. And I completely agree with the message behind it, couple it with the opening picture and it's brilliant.
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Bandits United
Debris and see doesn't sound too rhymical..(or is it me).
Besides, I am against the whole darwin theory of primate-monkey-gave-rise-to-man..
It's just too abhored to be even observed.
Poem-wise, and metre-wise..it had a nice beat, and a good syllable count, except for some dialect-related differences.
The idea is nice, and is worth penning.
Good work (Very bad Image).
Be well,
RD.
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BANDITS UNITED!
A well crafted poem, very thought provoking because I think we have evolved with too much intelligence ...inventions for one are our downfall...eventually something will be invented to wipe out the planet itself, if it doesn't deteriorate through the damaged ozone layer first...our prehistoric ancestors would definitely be very shocked, it hasn't taken long from then till now to cause irratrievable damage to some lifeforms and earth itself...
A smooth flowing write with superb rhyme and interesting imagery...a real gem to read, thank you
Love and smiles...
~Lilac
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Awsome
This is a fantastic piece, no words wasted and the picture adds to the feel of the poem. You've put your words and thoughts together in a very skillfull way, it flows and reads really well. As for the content of the poem I think you are totally right, ok I'm as bad with technology and whatever as the rest of them but still its crazy how we use and abuse our planet and all the while think it's ok to do so.
Anyway, great write, good luck in the contest you've entered.
JESSx
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Bandits United
oh yea what truth lies in these words, a great take on the picture, the words flow with ease a perfect write for the world of today Bravo I say...best of luck in theis contest
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I loved this piece...the picture was most amusing and really helped to put the message across. Well done & good luck!
~MotherMachineGunn~ -
Ya know...there's humor in a gallows sort of way in this. We like to believe we're soooo advanced, yet this world is in such bad shape for all of our modern marvels. One almost has to laugh at the way we pat ourselves on the back as we slowly destroy the world in which we live in. Nice thought provoking write
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Bandits United!
Wonderful job and so true. We think we've come so far when we're only more barbaric than we were before, and we have destroyed so many beautiful things that cannot be given back. Loved the flow and the picture was so cute!
~M~
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Very Good-Bandits Untied
if they saw the damage to our world,
the destruction and decay.
No doubt they’d view our ‘progress’
with horrified dismay.
I like how you started out and wondering if we gone astray. I agree with whole heartily. We have so much teleology we do not use it to save our planet
I love the way you share this lovely work with us
And We Call It 'Progress'
We think we are so different
No doubt they’d view our ‘progress’
with horrified dismay.
I really like these lines it ties up the end of it so very well.
I wonder what they’d say
f they saw the damage to our world,
the destruction and decay.
No doubt they’d view our ‘progress’
with horrified dismay.
Here how I feel it sounds better. It smoother flow I may be wrong and stepping out on a limb. You are the writer and this is your baby so I do not want to hurt your feelings.
I am just trying to follow the suggestion
on how you could improve your write I like it the way it is. This is very good I agree with you
Well I was trying to get up to five stars sorry I failed and I truly hope I did not hurt your feelings
I want to give you five stars. I am not good when it comes to suggestions
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Bandits Unite!
For a start the topic is more than clever... I agree with you totally with what you are stating within this write, I believe they would be horrified to see what we have turned out like. Also love the rhyme scheme... You done so very well and used unique rhymes instead of the usual. Lovely write. 3 applauds that are very much earned for you dear paradox.
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Bandits United!!
Very prolific piece! Great rhythm and rhyme and a smooth flow to this write. Well expressed opinions on our "progress" through the ages! Another wonderful work!
~Lori
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bandits united
Hm. I don't know if I agree with you. I don't think our cave-men ancestors would have the brains to recognize our faults.
Good and bad comes with everything anyway.
Still, nicely written!
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BANDITS UNITED!!
Super response to this picture!! Your poem really gives us a lot to think about. I've often wondered how much we've really progressed. Your rhyme is dead on and your lines flow together very well. All in all a great piece that was thoroughly enjoyable to read. Good luck in the contest. >pixxie<
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well, great poem. it really is true about people today (and i loved the picture)but to me, even though we have invented all this stuff,we still have all the wars and fighting, that kind of cancels it out, so its like we havent done anything, but great job with this poem, and good luck in the contest!Happy Easter and Bandits United!!!
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Bandits United!!!
You can say that again! This is so very true. This is very well done done and has great flow & tone. Great job on this!
love & Light
Debbera
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BANDITS UNITED!
An excellent write, message and presentation. Thought provoking. Very good flow, rhyme and tone. Very good expression of feeling. Good rhythm. Very good word choice. Good alliteration and assonance. Well crafted and a most enjoyable read.
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Bandits United!!
Beautiful piece You have penned!!
Love the rhyme and the story that You
brought forth to share
Wonderful!!
Best wishes to You in the contest
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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BANDITS UNITED! First off, love the picture. So sad, but so true. Loved each stanza, but the final one nailed it. Great job.
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bandits united
awsome
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Bandits united!
This was simply excellent and innovative!
teh picture fit it perfect as did the write. Very nicely done as is the message.
JD
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BANDITS UNITED...
So thought provoking...
loved your piece dear...
You've got great talent
xoxo
heidi
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BANDITS UNITED !!
You've sure said a mouthful in this rather accurate statement of our evolution as humans. There's so much truth in this piece, eloquently written and carries a strong message of what's become... and not become... of man.
And good luck in the contest
Dee
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Bandits United!
Dear Poetess, you have managed to capture both the satire and the hard truth of this picture within your rhyme. A note worthy penning.
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Fun
Enjoyable write there. Sometimes I use to wonder what our ancestors would think of us today if they were to come back all of a sudden! Always makes me smile. Great poem and wonderful picture too. Nice and easy. Loved it.
BANDTIS UNITED>>>
Love, Bob.
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BANDITS UNITED: This is your day in the spotlight - enjoy. Liked the picture you used for this write - liked the rhythm and rhyme used in these lines and the message you convey. Good title for this piece.
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Bandits United!
Excelent piece filled with the dismal truth of our world today. Wonderful rhythm and rhyme and the flow was just awesome. great write. Hugs, Bunny
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BaNdITs UnItEd hahaha
YEP!! You get swarmed today! And what fun it is here at your site with this delightfully smart poem! The cavemen should have one guy with a club and then another guy with golf clubs!! 
So cool, this poem!
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Excellent write PP
Thought proking and funny. Progress ? In so many ways not.
good write. Like it. Good luck in the contest.
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SO TRUE
Well done You are so right. What price have we payed all in the name of progress ! ! Excellent entry and I wish you all the very best in the contest
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Great poem I hope a million people read it.
Judy
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Dear Lou
I think you are an accessible poet in print and online. I'd love to hear and watch your expressive face in North Perth. We will be in Somerset in June. Lovely poem this. I often wonder what Wordsworth or Banjo Paterson would say!
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Lou,
My mental metronome wants one more syllable in the last line of verse three.
May I suggest a 'long' trail of debris?
Best wishes,
TOMFW
You of course must be the final arbiter.
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Uh huh, we are bad bad people in my opinion, we are ruining this world and by the time we get it through the thick heads of those too dumb to listen right now it is going to be way too late, *stepping off my soap box now*.... loe this write, in my humble opinion, gold gold gold, well done hun on a brilliant view on a very topical and poignant write
Karen *hugs*
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You're bacj with a vengence - good one Lou! You're so good at these. Good luck in this comp.
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Lou as you do, this speaks of the sad decay from technology not the way forward of man, we get caught up so much in the great things we hae done that we fail to see the damage we cause in them.
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