Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Flight of the Crane

Missing image

Flight of the Crane

an arrow found its mark and the wounded crane fell from the sky
the crane in her majestic beauty had soared above so high
then as she passed above the trees thinking she was out of sight
an archer’s obsidian-tipped arrow was drawn to her in flight
she fell from the sky, spiraled to the earth, loosing all control
followed by a feather that would slowly fall, pain took its toll
I ran to her side picked her up and cradled her like a foal
with her pure white wing now crimson stained and whispering a cry
knowing then, I had to take her home and save her if I might
to the archer she was just a bird, to me a living soul

 

 

Author notes

A CinqTroisDecaLa Rhyme
15 syllables per line
Rhyme scheme of AABBCCCABC

Formal poetic style by: Laura Lamarca

In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • awannabepoet
    July 27

    Edit | Reply
    Well Amera,

    My brave poetic friend, you have scored... touchee I would have to declare.

    What a wonderful way to count and yet still stay on message for at times I see the devil in numbers.

    I like it, I like it so!

    Of course you know now I will have to try one of these devils!


  • Pisces Pieces
    August 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes the forms seem like they would be simple enough, but when you see an actual write, you realize that they aren't so simple if you want them to be good, make sense and tell a story. You are very good at that. Do pictures inspire your stories? I'm going to have to look around and see if I can find things to inspire something more creative from my mind, I feel like I always write about love, or lost love, or emotions, sadness, etc...and although I realize that many poems incorporate those things, I'd like to try and tell more of a story, like this, and others of yours I've read.

    Anyway, this is such a bittersweet little story, but as always, very descriptive with great imagery that allows the reader to easily envision what you write. I love that.


    Michele


    • Amera gold member
      August 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much; My inspiration comes from everywhere. There is poetry in litteraly everything. I wrote about a Pepsi can, a cigarette butt and lost of other silly things. You just have to look for it, it's there.


  • Kappa Pyua
    June 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    i really like this one. It flows and rhymes, and i cn admire the time it probaly took to create this poem. The words u chose to rhyme have almost no similar spelling at all, and yet they rhyme. a very complex form. Fantastica. UNT


  • Rose Angel gold member
    April 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Rescue

    The form of this poem is new to me...but I was completly drawn in to this poem and right to the end, by this crane and its' plight, to see it saved.Beautiful imagery,wonderful rescue and hope for this bird....I have seen eagles swoop when a heron is on the ocean to stun it and take it for prey, but a lady in a row boat went ont with a bed sheet and rescued him....This rescue likely brought the same satisfaction...Another bird saced from extinction....Dramatic and beautifully penned..


  • Heart Sutra
    April 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for sharing a new form with me. I was not familiar with this form before. It is lovely. I always admire those who write well in forms. You wrote this so well that I did not realize I was reading a form. As for the poem content, I enjoyed the mystical presence and especially the last words about "living soul."


  • Sacrificial Love
    April 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW...

    you are poetically the bravest I have ever met...
    you rise to a challenge and conquer it with ease and grace...
    this is incredibly beautiful sis...
    love it
    like i love you

    xoxo
    Heidi


  • allfaith
    April 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow i like this poem very much


  • sunny day
    April 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad and still so beautiful. Those who hunt for food to survive are part of nature's chain, those that do it for sport make me angry. I love all forms of life and this touched me deeply. Your excellent verbiage created vivid imagery that filled my mind's eye. I want to wish you the best of luck in the contest with this form. I see that my sis La created it. I will have to make note of that. Thank you for sharing the beauty of your pen. Love and God bless, Joyce


  • PerVirtuous
    April 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You are unfolding your wings with efforts like this. It is my grand pleasure to watch you soar! This tale is beautiful and meaningful. The picture is perfectly explained. I won't bother to enter this contest. Three bunnies!


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    April 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Perfect!! You're good at form poetry Hope you take the Gold!
    La x


  • Desire gold member
    April 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Oy-


    Gorgeous verse You have penned that Touches the core of this Spirit
    Love the form You usedfor this flowed as if the crane took flight with words...
    Loved this write my Friend
    Powerful piece!

    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Spiritvision angel
    April 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I am not familiar with this form but, you have penned a write with great imagery and strong in its story. Thanks so mcuh for sharing this with all of us.


  • LadyLavender gold member
    April 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Amera, this is so beautiful...powerful as a story,poetically beautiful in style!

    Love it! Your work always shine.

    LL


  • Dalaney gold member
    April 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Amera...I love cranes. They watch over the
    marsh so majestically. I found a dying crane
    not too long ago, and it just filled my entire
    soul with sadness to witness her passing.

    You are one of the best poets I know of, and
    all kidding aside (and we DO do this quite often)
    I am honored to call you friend.

    Love, Lane

1 - 15 of 15