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The Barrier reef

The reefs floor laid a jewelry soiled in amber  

Wrapped in sands chocolate

With unique silvery texture; a blush aflame
Swept over me of ambience

As it fell under the reef patches hid its beauty; disappear

The coral structure of its family.

Setting among the coral under the fish family,

Its ocean’s floor sunset shine; its amber
Hidden a luster in the oceans caves; disappearing
among the corals appear a glint chocolate 
Glisten in the light; a luster ambience

Brush the cavity a sparkle aflame

As glint light appear its aflame,
near the reefs patches a species family.

Appear mystical dancing its ambience.                
Near their home in hues of amber,

While sifting its reef; chocolate,

In the sands whirlpool suddenly disappear,

Before my eyes an ambience

Corals, cluster disappearing

As I move upwards a coral light in amber,

Whisking a sands pit aflame,Shifting its fish family,

Swirling around the corals chocolate;
emphasizing its flower like chocolate,                               

As their every day routine ambience,
Whirl by a fish family,
Sheltering the corals; disappearing

Depart its coral aflame,
Dancing among its hues, amber,
 

Onto chocolate flower corals disappearing

The ocean’s floor with ambience, silvery

Blush, aflame in sands corals family upon

Somber night as the sunset retires amber; veering.




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Comments


  • Swan song gold member
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is excellent in its discription there is a beautiful barrage of images here. You put a lot into this, Very well penned I think it is one opf those poems you have to read more than once to ingest.
    Good poetry normally requires that,

    • saddie23
      June 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank u

      My sons and I went snorkling in Florida for vacation, and had an ambience of the water below. I dropped my necklace and was trying to retrieve it, and just went further down. So we had to go snorkling to find my necklace. Found it under some corals, and started to swim back up is, when I first relize how beautiful the ocean floor was. Thank u for the critiques and comments. Saddie23


  • MidniteRae
    April 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    NEEDS SPACING!!!! my brain doesnt work like this. anyways...It really seems forced and it didnt keep my attention span. It "technically" follows the form, but not quite..intersting topic by the way and same with metaphors. Its a hard form, so props for trying. Good job, thanks for entering and good luck in our contest.
    love always and forever, marissa rae and louis


  • Kahliya
    April 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Its a good piece but its not really a sestina - the order of the last words in the lines of your stanzas are wrong and you forgot the final tercet.
    The sestina is a very strict and difficult form and does not allow for a bending of the rules or form - check out shadowpoetry.com for the correct form