He strokes the back of his old, wood guitar
Pulling from it the sounds of his remorse, the feeling of being truly sorry for another.
He caresses the strings and lifts out his cry for this girl in front of him,
He shows her he loves her with a bite on his lip and the tuning of strings.
Tieing down notes and capturing emotion in song to please her,
Love and anguish saturate every word, every cord...
and I can't help but cry...
because I wish it was me he sang to.
A contest entry
- Anything Goes by Beating.
450 points, ended December 14, 2007, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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oh I know exactly what you mean. it's so hard to be next to someone you love, when he only likes you. And then talking about love with that person makes it even harder. I love how simple your poem is, and how it's saying so much. Good job!
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What a sad write; the love we can't have..sigh..
Lovely.
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Wow i really liked this, thanks for the comment on mine. I can completely relate to this.
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i love this poem!!
the flow is wonderful and the imagery is great!
i love the way its so bittersweet.
the lines
and I can't help but cry...
because I wish it was me he sang to.
are awesome!
nearly felt like crying myself! -
Sweeeeet...
I love the way in which this was written. Each word flows in a perfect progression that is interwoven with beautiful imagery, masterful vocabulary, and awesome emotional projection. GREAT job. -
Touching write with tenderness
Yes, i was like that, as my father always bragged on my older brother, very little praise for me. This was sad esp. after mother died. i wished he had praised me. i felt your emotions and feelings.
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Beautiful
This was beautifully written and kept the readers attention with a twist at the end, I enjoyed your use of language and the flow was effortless. So so sad. Well done and good luck in the contest, you are a worthy contender.
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Great
This was so touching and sad. My favorite part was:
He strokes the back of his old, wood guitar
Pulling from it the sounds of his remorse, the feeling of being truly sorry for another.
The beginning really spoke to me and set the tone for the rest of the poem. Great job and best of luck in your writing future. -
bittersweet
This is delicate and loving and sad all at once. Your love for the man is so clear. You know every little detail of his actions.
Very sad. The poem has me making up the story of the gentle old man, the sister, and the anguished love story. Beautiful!
- joanne
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