The second week of starting the school,
the nervousness and confusion past.
Just getting used to all the people,
when he decided he'd try and cheat.
Only a week of our relationship,
he was asking another girl out.
He wanted to go out with me though,
he asked me and I said yes.
I didn't break with the other one,
I was the luckier one, I got a yes.
So I went out with this bloke,
who people talked about a lot.
I believed it was them being nosy,
rude, and inconsiderate.
Like my boyfriend had been,
like everyone else was.
Then 5 days after us going out,
which was on the wednesday night,
all the way to the Monday night.
This monday night, we sat together.
My boyfriend, who was my ex,
and still was my boyfriend, the other,
had phoned me up the night before.
My present boyfriend with me,
the one who asked me out second,
named Karl, so you all know.
The other one named James,
the one who tried to cheat on me.
We'd been talking and he'd told me,
something extremely disturbing.
But, because I had sworn not to tell,
I told Karl I wouldn't tell him the details.
I told him that it was James's right,
and that I had promised secrecy.
Karl started touching me up,
groped my breasts and ass,
then finally gave up asking me,
(by this time now I was near tears).
I had never done this kind of stuff,
barely even heard of it myself.
He said it doesn't matter now,
then he started to sail his hands up -
right up my legs, tight grip.
The terror running through my veins,
the nervousness ruining me...
I was confused, and quite ashamed.
I was getting damp but without want,
I tried to remove his hands from there,
but he wouldn't move just gripped.
Then his fingers begun to poke,
all the way near my thigh, poked me,
poked me in that private area...
That private area I hadn't even explored,
that private area he didn't need to.
I was 13 and he was 16,
I was frightened of him by now.
I was in tears, flowing deep.
He was calling me harsh names,
like you stupid little bitch.
Saying at first he'd be gentle,
then he said he'd do it very rough.
He said it'd only take a second,
then he said he'd make it last long.
He started to try and get ontop of me,
and I was frozen this whole time.
He was about to put my hands on him,
inbetween his legs that is -
then a member of staff named Paula,
turned around the corner.
I had managed to stand myself up,
and to raise my voice at him.
Paula shouted, so did Karl,
I just ran up to my room in tears.
I text him straight away dumping him,
the next day he left me voice mesages.
He was in tears saying he was sorry,
that he didn't mean to do that to me.
I wasn't sure of this and confirmed,
the next day my friend named Heather,
who shared a bedroom with me.
He grabbed her and blamed her,
saying she convinced me to dump him.
He grabbed my wrists and told me,
"You'll go back out with me again."
I pulled my wrists out of his grasp,
and I turned to him roughly and said,
"I don't fucking think so mate."
My first intimate experience with a guy,
had been totally and utterly ruined.
I had sworn in such a harsh manner,
it almost ruined my innocence.
I know you can't really blame me,
but that's not the utter point...
I am going out with him now,
yeah you may think I'm mad.
But he's quite the opposite,
of what he used to be like.
The other guy turned out worse,
but that's for another entry.
I am weary of him so you know,
as I still have sense inside me.
Thank you for reading this for me,
just hope you can all learn something.
Don't trust someone straight away,
you may end up regretting it!
Gold trophy winner
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