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[Suicide] ..n.o.t.e..

Dancing at the *altar*
  Not -prettyinpink-
But Terrific in .t.e.a.l.
A jezebel princess with a ||prettylittledollface||

?Wondering? what life would be without alcohol&&ecstacy
What would life be if she wasn't the -i-m-p-e-r-f-e-c-t- cocaine/glamour/whore that she was;; the sexy *g*l*i*t*t*e*r* nymph obsessed with K a m a S u t r a
and all that k i n k y shit.
What if she wasn't the   -p s y c h o v i o l a t o r-   in all of her
**percocet&&lithium** induced sex f*r*e*n*z*i*e*s
What if she had grace instead of pain;; ♥ instead of m^u^t^i^l^a^t^i^o^n;; Faith instead of panic attacks?
What if she had religion rather than depression;; rubies instead of knives;; .d.i.a.m.o.n.d.s. instead of m_0_r_p_h_i_n_e and what if she had {clissicbeauty} rather than sluttysmutt appeal?

And in that instant she was [pushedovertheedge]... realizing she would never be

                                                   

 

                                            ...{perfect}...

Scratching and mass bleeding
She slit her throat and instead of blood, out came *s*p*a*r*k*l*e*s*
Proving to the world she was just another g*l*i*t*t*e*r whore
nothing more
one word in her suicide note read:
                                                ~AMEN~

Author notes

I chose the wordbank...the only words I couldn't use were:
Coma
Requiem
Succubus
Incubus

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • blemished irises
    May 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I just recently came across this poem and I don't feel the need to repeat what faye has already said but
    "?Wondering? what life would be without alcohol&&ecstacy
    What would life be if she wasn't the -i-m-p-e-r-f-e-c-t- cocaine/glamour/whore that she was;; the sexy *g*l*i*t*t*e*r* nymph obsessed with K a m a S u t r a
    and all that k i n k y shit.
    What if she wasn't the -p s y c h o v i o l a t o r- in all of her
    **percocet&&lithium** induced sex f*r*e*n*z*i*e*s
    What if she had grace instead of pain;; ♥ instead of m^u^t^i^l^a^t^i^o^n;; Faith instead of panic attacks?
    What if she had religion rather than depression;; rubies instead of knives;; .d.i.a.m.o.n.d.s. instead of m_0_r_p_h_i_n_e and what if she had {clissicbeauty} rather than sluttysmutt appeal?" ;;

    kind of looks like the key board back fired. Also there were some spelling errors.
    I liked some of the examples through out that stanza I just posted but I do believe this write would be SO much better if maybe you didn't use that punctuation. There is such thing as a bad thing.

    You should re-do this poem with out the punctuation, since you didn't place in the contest, and see how it is then.




  • blue starburst
    May 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Um...I'm sorry, but this isn't true dirty-pretty. Over-emphasis and cliche topics such as drugs, glitter, and hookers do not make dirty pretty as well as:

    prettylittledollface
    alcohol&&ecstasy
    cocaine/glamour/whore
    **percocet&&lithium**

    ...and others.

    It's nearly impossible to read this poem with all the stars, underscores, dashes, and periods. It makes the poem look sloppy and ridiculous instead of sophisticated. I put this in word and took out all of the over-punctuation so I could feel the overall quality of the poem. Honestly, this is a very unoriginal writing. No offense, but if I typed in "dirty pretty" in the AP search then I could get at least 10 other writes like this. Trying a new style of writing is fun, but please look into it more before you try something like so.

    I hope you don't find this comment a bash but very constructive critisism. Maybe in the future you could take my words into thought? Or not.

    Cheers.
    Faye


  • requiempoet gold member
    April 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is my favorite Dirty Pretty so far! I really like this style! it's so...expressive! bravo!


  • Deliverance
    April 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful and seductive as ever hun.
    Amazing imagery and use of colourful words.
    Breathless.


  • BArBiE slaPPed m3
    April 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Awh so pretty.

1 - 5 of 5