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Screaming at the moon

Missing image

I screamed at the moon

in the silence of night,

as the worm writhed beneath my tongue.

 

He paced the floor

of education's cage

thrashing frustration

with all of his might.

 

To free the beast

would surely mean

a neoplastic catochism,

and pyrotoxins that would linger on

could scorch the moon

and burn the sun.

 

So I will lull the worm to sleep

with a lullaby of determination.

 

 

Author notes

For Victory Gin.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • RevHead
    June 12, 2007

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    very different. not bad though. I had to get the dictionary out for a few of those words, but they seemed to fit with what i think you were aiming to achieve. goodluck Ampd


  • AutumnsFlame
    May 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm... Honestly, I didn't really get the metaphor there. Either I'm stupid, or you have to make that clearer... This was alright... Good, but not great.


  • Timeless Wisdom silver member
    April 20, 2007

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    UPDATE******
    You now have 2 chances for the gold. If you have a second poem you would like to enter before the contest closes ...GO FOR IT!!

  • Timeless Wisdom silver member
    April 20, 2007
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    Lots of anger in this. Also great vocabulary, thank you for your entry.


  • John Carney
    April 6, 2007
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    Here, I read into this poem the conflict between the educated, civilized entity and the instinctual entity that we all embody. I kind of read a Freudian element into this poem as far as conflict goes. Was this close to what your theme was? I kind of read my own meaning into it.

    John Carney


  • ZorroTheFox silver member
    April 4, 2007

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    this was a nice write, and a neat pic to go with it. I have so much reading to do tonight I'm not sure if I'll get to it all.


  • Poetic-Dreamer
    April 4, 2007
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    You used amazing vocabulary in there and got the image across perfectly. Brava. Thanks for entering. Because of lack of entries and that I'm leaving town tomorrow and can't extend I'm not going to choose a winner. If I redo the contest when I return I'll send you a message.

  • Tercarro
    April 2, 2007

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    once more a great write

    I'm thinking that your latin blood has instilled within you a sense of romance that is unique.
    Great work.
    Terry


  • janejainejayne gold member
    April 2, 2007

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    Brava!

    Dear poet, You are shackeled in the picture but the words free you. This is a different kind of write for you...I am seeing a lot of this in you lately and it is another glorious side to your poetry! Brava! Jane


  • Wandika gold member
    April 2, 2007
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    A winner without even seeing the trophy Di. Some great metaphors.


  • capricornpoet
    April 1, 2007

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    paradox of the soul

    This was most metaphoric of soul and knowledge, the worm writhes as what our soul sees of faith what is cathochism ..great paradoxes of the human mind and maxims..superb..


  • Tirrell
    April 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Your write of the comquorer worm, has me reflecting back to poe, as these morbid visions plague the night it has disturbed the silence of my thought, and awed by this vision I aplaud!!!


  • catz Moderators member
    April 1, 2007

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    You bring unusual visions to us in this superb write, good ones, though... Those first two lines really set the pace for this piece, and are my favorite part.

    Overall a very good piece and I wish you good luck in the contest

    Dee


  • Trueheartforlife
    April 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    The metaphors were great and the flow was infectious great job!! My faveorite part was:

    To free the beast

    would surely mean

    a neoplastic catochism,

    and pyrotoxins that would linger on

    could scorch the moon

    and burn the sun.

    You really felt a lot in that stanza it was really good best of luck in your writing future!!


  • mysticstorm gold member
    April 1, 2007

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    Outstanding!
    Love the metaphor and thoughts in this write. Very strong and alluring.
    Flows so softly as one read it.
    Lovely ending.
    Thank you for entering!


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    April 1, 2007

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    Wow

    So different for you but what a power packed write. I enjoyed this a great deal and went in many places with this fine piece. It stands with or without the graphic. Excellent penning and super use of vocabulary. ~Pamela


  • suseann
    April 1, 2007
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    "He paced the floor of educations cage",sounds as though someone/a know it all is harrasing the writer.This has vivid imagery of emotions. Or perhaps a knowledge of some sort eats at you.Not real sure. Yet sure as can be,this piece screams out in feeling.Nice work.


  • Trellis
    April 1, 2007
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    Very fresh! Thought provoking.


  • Whoochi gold member
    April 1, 2007

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    ending is gorgeous...vivid imagery here... "a lullaby of determination..." what a line that leaves us with....good job, good luck!


  • Bazza
    April 1, 2007

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    masterblaster

    Nicely penned although I only thought birds and chooks ate worms and although quite clever I prefer the more simple worded works. I am amazed at your incredible versatility.
    Barry

1 - 20 of 20