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Ending It All

Whispering throughout the painful cries of disbelief
The horrid whispering coming from seemingly nowhere
Dull grey eyes of all those who see the pain
While our black eyeliner melt away with our tears
Caused by the chains that bind us to our mangled memories
We wish that the blade would become scarlet

With our blood, ending it all:
All the fake caring for us
All the disaster
All the lies;
Forever they would all be

Forgotten

Author notes

1st of all, happy birthday! second, i used:
1-wordbank(please tell me the words you used:
-painful
-disbelief
-horrid
-dull
-grey
-chains
-blade
-scarlet
-mangled
-disaster
-lies
-fake
-black
-eyeliner


2nd of all, to my friends who freak out ofer the smallest thing, no, I'm not suicidal. Please don't IM me with worries, I'm fine... I just got an idea from the contest and I went with it. So don't worry, I'm fine!



for the second contest, this was the option number I used:
♥ Dark- give me your best dark writes...now


if I made too much of a mess out of these notes, let me know and I'll leave a comment at the bottom... otherwise, ...et cetera.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • vampireblood
    April 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was a pretty good piece, interesting. Thank you for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
    ~~~Vampy~~~


  • Game Master
    April 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love it, I started to think about the title though. Should it be forgotten or the same? but it doesn't matter that much. The poem was so sad, but I like it when I'm reading a poem that I can feel something from it. Great job I thought it was kinda funny with the eye-liner falling down with tears. Guess I think that's funny cause I don't wear eye-liner at all like my other friends .. . . .. but the poem was great, good job


    • LaVieBohemme
      April 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you !!!

      I dont wear eyeliner either...i just felt like putting that little part in...
      "forgotten or the same"???I dont know what exactly you mean by that...I guess its up to you...lol
      ~~~Jenn~~~


  • XXBrunettexBarbieXX
    April 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was a great write and i can totally relate to your words as well..they were powerful, emotional and strong..you also created a very marvelous poem with the worbank.i really loved reading this and can really relate to what you are saying and feeling in this write..keep writting you are very talented and good luck in the contest

    ~Chrissy~


    • LaVieBohemme
      April 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      i dont really know how i came up with this... i guess the word box in the contest must have sparked it... IDK


  • Bruised.Roses
    April 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    well for someone who's not suicidal you got the feeling down. this was amazing though I wouldn't call it emo......it was well written and a great piece as a whole...keep writting...thanks for entering and good luck.
    XTashX


    • LaVieBohemme
      April 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you!!! I wasnt completely sure if i had captured the feelings right or not, but i guess i did


  • Angierie
    April 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    OOO... much emotion.. I like this a lot.

    Great write!

    Angie

1 - 11 of 11