When sinners did sin
eyes multiplied,
and watched all four corners (plus one)
of the facade.
Impatient for a hairline
beneath the windowsill.
-
Admittance [of sin] was needless,
but peons must be dressed in
white cloth
and their stance be alert.
For sinner hesitates by
self’s [im]morals,
mindful that spite is cloaked by a
sunny gown…
alike to sinners own.
Author notes
7. "They say the devil is paranoid."
-Queens of the Stone Age
In a list
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Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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What I noticed, but didn't mention before, is that you always have beautiful backgrounds accompaniying your poetry all the time - do you make them yourself?
anyway, on to the poem - this one leans more to the dark side and though not my favourite kind of poetry to read, yours is still interesting enough to give it a comment and a clappy mister dude
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I really like this. And your background is really awesome.
As said in rule three, there aren't supposed to be weird accentuations of words, like when you have-
"Admittance [of sin] was needless,"
And "self’s [im]morals."
But awesome write, nonetheless.
Thank you for your entry,
Best of luck!
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Very interesting. I'm not sure if I completely understand where it is going, or where it went. I read it over alot but I still don't. The words used are seem so perfectly choosen. Nice work. And goodluck in the contest!!!
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Wow. I really liked the part that said,
'Admittance [of sin] was needless,
but peons must be dressed in
white cloth
and their stance be alert.'
Its very interesting poem. The flow is great and you want to read it over and over again and my attention was caught by the title itself. I'm sure a lot of people wonder what's with [this], but I think it adds a certain uniqueness that makes it stand out more. -
Whoa, very intriguing.
My favorite line -
"mindful that spite is cloaked by a
sunny gown…"
This is oh, so true! Very nicely done.
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Your poem is honest and almost gives one chills.
When sinners did sin
eyes multiplied,
and watched all four corners (plus one)
of the facade.
Those lines are stunning. Utterly stunning.
NoL -
wow this part blew me away...
When sinners did sin
eyes multiplied,
and watched all four corners (plus one)
of the facade.
Impatient for a hairline
beneath the windowsill.
-
Admittance [of sin] was needless,
but peons must be dressed in
white cloth
and their stance be alert.
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