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Young Girl

She sits
And stares
At passers by
They laugh
And smile
And ignore her eye
All black and swollen
From the night before
She was hit across the face
And called a "whore"
Her mother, she watched,
With tears in her eyes
As her daughter was beaten
Crying: "Mommy, why?"
Now she sits
Alone and cold
Waiting for someone
To save her soul

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Born to SIN
    September 5, 2007

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    painful

    this is painful to me - abuse i take so my children don't end up like this girl - "Alone and cold - Waiting for someone - To save her soul" - powerful lines that touch me because i am that


  • playing coy
    July 23, 2007

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    strong content.

    i really like this. it grabbed my attention..
    "All black and swollen
    From the night before"
    those lines were really well put togehter.
    i wish
    "Now she sits
    Alone and cold
    Waiting for someone
    To save her soul " had more detail though, like this young gils face. i can picture her eyes...her tears, poeple staring, but the last lines didnt pull those feelings from me.


    i really like this poem though...difffernt
    good. strong. <3


  • Moonlit-Reveries
    May 11, 2007

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    Very emotional good writing. I can feel the pain of the coldness and hurt she's feeling. It's so sad how people are so indifferent and caught up in their own lives to notice stuff like this.


  • Mortal
    April 10, 2007
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    This is wonderful! I'm very impressed. If only you could use this beautiful English on the forums!

  • biblondeilc
    April 1, 2007

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    hey my friend and i are going to publish a book and i was wondering if i could possibly put this in there if i gave you credit


  • sans-amour
    April 1, 2007
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    And hopefully, somebody will come along to save her soul... Alas, I think that this happens way too much in this world, but there is very little we can do to stop it once it starts.

    A typical, but nevertheless, wonderful, rendering of an everyday event ~ Zach

1 - 6 of 6