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Waves of love

The waves in the ocean
lap upon the shore
like my love for you,
they will last forevermore.
The waves in the ocean
are so powerful and strong
I need to be like that too because
my love for you was wrong.
The waves in the ocean
wash away all the bad
to set the newness free.
the waves in my heart
will never completely wash you away.
for when the tide comes in,
some of the bad remains.
In my heart, a part of my love
for you will always stay.

Author notes

another one, not very good..... just thoughts going through my head
Written July 10th, 2003

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Yemassee gold member
    October 12

    Edit | Reply
    It seems a little muddled but maybe that is just me. In the end it is a poem about love, though it appears loving that person may not have been the wisest move.

  • sophsgran
    December 10, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    I think every woman has a memory of a love that was wrong. Your poem reminded me of mine, 40 years ago. Your are quite right,you never forget. Your poem does what a good poem does, resonates inside the reader. Thanks for sharing your talent.
    Thanks.
    Edited on Jun 07, 8:55 p.m. because 'spelling error, (blush)'.

  • Mr Dazgy
    December 3, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Aint it a bitch when they jusy wont go away! well written says it all in a short write. keep puttin it out there!

  • -MandA-BeaN-
    November 7, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    i think this is great! i like it..it's sweet, and i know the feeling. so i guess i can relate..and that makes me like it even more way to go..good write! keep it up.

    manda

  • earth
    August 28, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    When the waves lap at the shore they take away the bad.
    They take the rubbish from the sand
    Don’t pollute yourself with his words of rejection
    Find someone new who deserves your affection.


    great write sweety. pretty imagery. sad though.

  • hinamcmullen
    August 16, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Great write! I think it's cool how you used the ocean to show how you feel. Very nice! Keep up the good work! -Tina (hinamcmullen)
    Edited on Aug 16, 12:48 because 'because'.

  • Thevoicewithin
    July 31, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    wow, thats gr8 how uve linked the ocean to how you feel, i neva thought it was possible!! Jen xxxxxxx


  • finding myself 84
    July 26, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    You don't think this is any good? I love it! Beautiful expressions and beautiful flow! Very rarely do you find a poem w/ both! Great work and keep it up! *sonya*

  • i am sam
    July 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    It sucks when you love someone and then you break up with them but you can't seem to get rid of that one little peice of them....Well written.

    Sam

  • NeuroticAngel
    July 20, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    when we have loved someone we will usually always have a love for them, its more of a long for the past, a love for how we have once felt, love cant turn in to hate,love fades away sometimes when its not meant to be, but a part of that love will always stay, and sometimes that is what keep people holding on to relationship, even if they are not hapy anymore, and are not inlove anymore, they loved it at one time and still feel a certain love there, good write once again ~nikki

  • PoetryGirl26
    July 14, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I really like this...it uses cool imadgrey and I can just see all the love...beautiful Write!

  • KeepingTheStars
    July 11, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Inspired. I liked this...

    the waves in my heart
    will never completely wash you away.
    for when the tide comes in,
    some of the bad remains.
    In my heart, a part of my love
    for you will always stay

    I like that. Good writing here!!!


  • Simply Bohemian
    July 11, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    cheers 22 fold

    BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!
    dose that tell you how wonderful I see your work is!?
    My goodnes how your talent makes me blush from the lack of!

  • SassyPassions
    July 10, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, its very good. I think its a great write. Like someone told me once that if people say its bad, who cares, there is someone out there thinking for just one second that they know they are not alone... Great write.

1 - 14 of 14