poisen running through my veins
the taste of turpintine coating my tounge
unsettled stomache lurching
eyes burning
standing in a puddle of the past
shoes wet in denial
mind swarming with fire ants
and wandering why it rains
the lightening striking the same spot
burning the grass roots of past years
scorching the ground of security
leaving nothing behind
but the ashes of another life
A contest entry
- Round Contest!! Anything goes this first round. by FightOffYourDemons.
300 points, ended April 7, 2007, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - this contest might get me in trouble by vacant lot.
307 points, ended October 18, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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wowzers
holy potatos that was intense, and the turpintine taste.... i paint so i know the taste, accidental taste of turpintine... yuck. but wow this poem was rockin' i felt every second of it as if it were me "standing in a puddle of the past" this is one awesome write. sorry kid... you got the gift!
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thanks for the comment
glad you felt the write.
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its like soberty to me
wonderful poem
all have things they wish would leave their past
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indeed. thanks for all your comments.
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good write
such honest thoughts, the act of taking this life and moving on, the desperaton of the world around you
such great images so strong feelings
fantastly touched me.
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Thank you, i'm glad you liked it.
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Hmm, very intriguing, like reincarnation or something. Nicely worded with a great effect.
I almost think that a cool title would be "another end." It would be very deep and give a morbid circle of life kind of feel. "Another end, another life." Ooohh, *shivers.* Nicely done. -
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i like your interpretation. thanks for the comment.
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wow.
That was the most expressive thing I think I've ever read. It was so...wow. I loved it!!
-Lyzie
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thanks so much, i'm glad you liked it.
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impressive. and also quite inspiring. and i can just keep naming words that sart with the letter i that come to mind while reading this. but i wont. i think i'll go read more of your work now. thanks for commenting on my recent poem. it's not a very good example of my work though, sorry ^_^
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i'm glad you liked it thanks
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leaving nothing behind
but the ashes of another life
It is a decision you make to change your life for the better, to be positive at all times and yet, if it seems unreal, to find under the impossible, the positive in that as well.
They tried to trick a positive person with this question: No one can say anything positive about the devil to which he answered: "He is a very hard worker". If you can learn this at a very young stage, your life will be filled with roses and not thorns.
To a positive young thinker, future roses.
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thanks for such a positive comment.
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Nice. Love the imagery and the metaphors. You really know how to use poetic devices. This is quite a talent to possess. You should be proud. I like it
Thanks
nikki -
great great imagary, and such angry passion along with that. Honestly, this is what i like to. theres always something in each line that catches a sense, personified and brought to life.
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thanks for your comment. I'm glad you liked it. Hope life is treatin you okay
PEACE TO YA
~Dy
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